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four jokes
Jun 7, 2015 19:07:04   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
# 1--birth control
The doctor that had cared for an 80 year old grandmother finally retired.

At the next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the new doc was looking through these files his eyes widened as he saw that grandma had prescriptions for birth control pills.
"Mrs Smith,do you realize that this medicine is for birth control"?The new doc asked.
"Oh yes,"she replied." they make me sleep well at night".
"Mrs Smith I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these pills that could possibly make you sleep better".said the new doc.
Grandma just patted his knee and replied"Yes dear ,I know that.But every morning I grind up a pill and mix it in a glass of orange juice that my sixteen year old grand daughter drinks.
AND BELIEVE ME IT MAKES ME SLEEP BETTER!!"

#3 the anxious man

A man riding the bus was minding his own business when a young woman seated next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
the baby wouldn't take the breast and she said."Come on sweetie ,eat it up or ill have to give it to this nice man next to us."
five minutes later the baby still refused to suckle.
the young woman said."Come on honey take it or ill give it to this nice man."
A few minutes later the man blurted out."Come on kid make up your mind.I was supposed to get off this bus four stops back!"

# 3 Biology exam
The advanced biology class was taking its final exam.
The last question on the test was name seven advantages of mothers milk.
Jack ,a student was hard put to think of seven advantages for mothers milk however he wrote:
#1--it is the perfect formula for the child
# 2-it provides immunity for several diseases
@3- it is always the right temperature
#4-it is inexpensive
#5-it bonds the child to its mother
#6-it is always available as needed
And then Jack was stuck.
finally in desperation ,just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote"
#7-IT COMES IN TWO ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS AND IS HIGH ENOUGH OFF THE GROUND THAT THE CAT CANT GET IT!!

# 4-taxi ride

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
it was raining hard and a line of prostitutes were standing under the awnings along the sidewalk.

"Mom."Said the boy."What are all those women doing"?
"They are waiting for their husbands to get off work."She told the boy.
The taxi driver laughed and said."Why don't you tell him the t***h lady?They are hookers and they have sex with men for money."
THe boys eyes grew wide and he asked,"Is that true Mom?
His mother glaring hard at the driver answered in the affirmative.
After a few minutes the boy asked his Mother."If those women have babies what happens to them?"
The Mother calmly replied."Most of them become taxi drivers."

Reply
Jun 7, 2015 19:22:02   #
Unclet Loc: Amarillo, Tx
 
badbobby wrote:
# 1--birth control
The doctor that had cared for an 80 year old grandmother finally retired.

At the next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the new doc was looking through these files his eyes widened as he saw that grandma had prescriptions for birth control pills.
"Mrs Smith,do you realize that this medicine is for birth control"?The new doc asked.
"Oh yes,"she replied." they make me sleep well at night".
"Mrs Smith I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these pills that could possibly make you sleep better".said the new doc.
Grandma just patted his knee and replied"Yes dear ,I know that.But every morning I grind up a pill and mix it in a glass of orange juice that my sixteen year old grand daughter drinks.
AND BELIEVE ME IT MAKES ME SLEEP BETTER!!"

#3 the anxious man

A man riding the bus was minding his own business when a young woman seated next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
the baby wouldn't take the breast and she said."Come on sweetie ,eat it up or ill have to give it to this nice man next to us."
five minutes later the baby still refused to suckle.
the young woman said."Come on honey take it or ill give it to this nice man."
A few minutes later the man blurted out."Come on kid make up your mind.I was supposed to get off this bus four stops back!"

# 3 Biology exam
The advanced biology class was taking its final exam.
The last question on the test was name seven advantages of mothers milk.
Jack ,a student was hard put to think of seven advantages for mothers milk however he wrote:
#1--it is the perfect formula for the child
# 2-it provides immunity for several diseases
@3- it is always the right temperature
#4-it is inexpensive
#5-it bonds the child to its mother
#6-it is always available as needed
And then Jack was stuck.
finally in desperation ,just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote"
#7-IT COMES IN TWO ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS AND IS HIGH ENOUGH OFF THE GROUND THAT THE CAT CANT GET IT!!

# 4-taxi ride

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
it was raining hard and a line of prostitutes were standing under the awnings along the sidewalk.

"Mom."Said the boy."What are all those women doing"?
"They are waiting for their husbands to get off work."She told the boy.
The taxi driver laughed and said."Why don't you tell him the t***h lady?They are hookers and they have sex with men for money."
THe boys eyes grew wide and he asked,"Is that true Mom?
His mother glaring hard at the driver answered in the affirmative.
After a few minutes the boy asked his Mother."If those women have babies what happens to them?"
The Mother calmly replied."Most of them become taxi drivers."
# 1--birth control br The doctor that had cared fo... (show quote)


:thumbup: :XD: :thumbup: :XD:

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 06:51:17   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
You outdid yourself, BB. I see you had two #3's, both were really funny, but #4 made me laugh out loud. Thanks for my laugh to start the day. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
 
 
Jun 8, 2015 08:10:34   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
badbobby wrote:
# 1--birth control
The doctor that had cared for an 80 year old grandmother finally retired.

At the next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the new doc was looking through these files his eyes widened as he saw that grandma had prescriptions for birth control pills.
"Mrs Smith,do you realize that this medicine is for birth control"?The new doc asked.
"Oh yes,"she replied." they make me sleep well at night".
"Mrs Smith I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these pills that could possibly make you sleep better".said the new doc.
Grandma just patted his knee and replied"Yes dear ,I know that.But every morning I grind up a pill and mix it in a glass of orange juice that my sixteen year old grand daughter drinks.
AND BELIEVE ME IT MAKES ME SLEEP BETTER!!"

#3 the anxious man

A man riding the bus was minding his own business when a young woman seated next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
the baby wouldn't take the breast and she said."Come on sweetie ,eat it up or ill have to give it to this nice man next to us."
five minutes later the baby still refused to suckle.
the young woman said."Come on honey take it or ill give it to this nice man."
A few minutes later the man blurted out."Come on kid make up your mind.I was supposed to get off this bus four stops back!"

# 3 Biology exam
The advanced biology class was taking its final exam.
The last question on the test was name seven advantages of mothers milk.
Jack ,a student was hard put to think of seven advantages for mothers milk however he wrote:
#1--it is the perfect formula for the child
# 2-it provides immunity for several diseases
@3- it is always the right temperature
#4-it is inexpensive
#5-it bonds the child to its mother
#6-it is always available as needed
And then Jack was stuck.
finally in desperation ,just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote"
#7-IT COMES IN TWO ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS AND IS HIGH ENOUGH OFF THE GROUND THAT THE CAT CANT GET IT!!

# 4-taxi ride

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
it was raining hard and a line of prostitutes were standing under the awnings along the sidewalk.

"Mom."Said the boy."What are all those women doing"?
"They are waiting for their husbands to get off work."She told the boy.
The taxi driver laughed and said."Why don't you tell him the t***h lady?They are hookers and they have sex with men for money."
THe boys eyes grew wide and he asked,"Is that true Mom?
His mother glaring hard at the driver answered in the affirmative.
After a few minutes the boy asked his Mother."If those women have babies what happens to them?"
The Mother calmly replied."Most of them become taxi drivers."
# 1--birth control br The doctor that had cared fo... (show quote)


Thank you, thank you, thank you. :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 10:11:16   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
# 1--birth control
The doctor that had cared for an 80 year old grandmother finally retired.

At the next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the new doc was looking through these files his eyes widened as he saw that grandma had prescriptions for birth control pills.
"Mrs Smith,do you realize that this medicine is for birth control"?The new doc asked.
"Oh yes,"she replied." they make me sleep well at night".
"Mrs Smith I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these pills that could possibly make you sleep better".said the new doc.
Grandma just patted his knee and replied"Yes dear ,I know that.But every morning I grind up a pill and mix it in a glass of orange juice that my sixteen year old grand daughter drinks.
AND BELIEVE ME IT MAKES ME SLEEP BETTER!!"

#3 the anxious man

A man riding the bus was minding his own business when a young woman seated next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
the baby wouldn't take the breast and she said."Come on sweetie ,eat it up or ill have to give it to this nice man next to us."
five minutes later the baby still refused to suckle.
the young woman said."Come on honey take it or ill give it to this nice man."
A few minutes later the man blurted out."Come on kid make up your mind.I was supposed to get off this bus four stops back!"

# 3 Biology exam
The advanced biology class was taking its final exam.
The last question on the test was name seven advantages of mothers milk.
Jack ,a student was hard put to think of seven advantages for mothers milk however he wrote:
#1--it is the perfect formula for the child
# 2-it provides immunity for several diseases
@3- it is always the right temperature
#4-it is inexpensive
#5-it bonds the child to its mother
#6-it is always available as needed
And then Jack was stuck.
finally in desperation ,just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote"
#7-IT COMES IN TWO ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS AND IS HIGH ENOUGH OFF THE GROUND THAT THE CAT CANT GET IT!!

# 4-taxi ride

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
it was raining hard and a line of prostitutes were standing under the awnings along the sidewalk.

"Mom."Said the boy."What are all those women doing"?
"They are waiting for their husbands to get off work."She told the boy.
The taxi driver laughed and said."Why don't you tell him the t***h lady?They are hookers and they have sex with men for money."
THe boys eyes grew wide and he asked,"Is that true Mom?
His mother glaring hard at the driver answered in the affirmative.
After a few minutes the boy asked his Mother."If those women have babies what happens to them?"
The Mother calmly replied."Most of them become taxi drivers."
# 1--birth control br The doctor that had cared fo... (show quote)


Funny LOL

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 10:47:19   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
BearK wrote:
You outdid yourself, BB. I see you had two #3's, both were really funny, but #4 made me laugh out loud. Thanks for my laugh to start the day. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


:lol: I just have trouble counting Bear
thanks :lol: :lol:

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 10:48:06   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Unclet wrote:
:thumbup: :XD: :thumbup: :XD:


thanks for reply unc :lol:

Reply
 
 
Jun 8, 2015 10:48:59   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Searching wrote:
Thank you, thank you, thank you. :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:


thank you Searching!! :lol:

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 10:49:36   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
bahmer wrote:
Funny LOL


tx Bahmer

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 10:50:50   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
my purpose is just to let a little sunlight into a dreary day
have a good un yall

Reply
Jun 8, 2015 11:36:36   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
badbobby wrote:
my purpose is just to let a little sunlight into a dreary day
have a good un yall


The light you let in just about blinded me, it did!! :wink:

Reply
 
 
Jun 8, 2015 11:39:06   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
badbobby wrote:
my purpose is just to let a little sunlight into a dreary day
have a good un yall


Hey BB, if you have God in your heart - the SON is always shining. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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