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Divorce Agreement
Aug 8, 2013 15:22:17   #
octogenarian88
 
Thanks to John J. Wall
DIVORCE AGREEMENT


THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I
want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for
the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly
run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably
divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That
will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since
both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and
the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you cango with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie
O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
WalMart and Wall Street.. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill..
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle-down economics and you
can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra
Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.
---------
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This
Going, Maybe
Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.

Reply
Aug 8, 2013 15:39:03   #
oldroy Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)
 
octogenarian88 wrote:
Thanks to John J. Wall
DIVORCE AGREEMENT


THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I
want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for
the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly
run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably
divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That
will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since
both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and
the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you cango with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie
O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
WalMart and Wall Street.. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill..
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle-down economics and you
can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra
Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.
---------
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This
Going, Maybe
Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.
Thanks to John J. Wall br DIVORCE AGREEMENT br b... (show quote)


I don't know who wrote that but Snopes says it wasn't Wall. It makes no difference, though, I see nothing wrong with it even if it was John Boehner (and we know it wasn't him) or John McCain (also innocent of writing it). It is too bad it hasn't sunk in many places, though.

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