Marines and Sex
Apr 14, 2015 17:34:34 #
A funny joke in honor of all our marine buddies here on OPP.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?
Negative, maam. Just serious by nature.
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, It looks like you have seen a lot of action.
Yes, maam, a lot of action.
The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said, You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, You know, I hope you dont take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you got any?
1955, maam.
Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no nookie since 1955!
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to relax him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, Wow, you sure didnt forget much since 1955!
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, I hope not, its 2130 now.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?
Negative, maam. Just serious by nature.
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, It looks like you have seen a lot of action.
Yes, maam, a lot of action.
The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said, You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, You know, I hope you dont take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you got any?
1955, maam.
Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no nookie since 1955!
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to relax him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, Wow, you sure didnt forget much since 1955!
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, I hope not, its 2130 now.
Apr 14, 2015 18:28:28 #
Marines do excel in all matters sexual, among other activities.
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
Apr 15, 2015 00:13:54 #
Coos Bay Tom
Loc: coos bay oregon
PoppaGringo wrote:
Military time fools them every time. heh hehMarines do excel in all matters sexual, among other activities.
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
:thumbup:
Apr 15, 2015 00:21:21 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
Marines do excel in all matters sexual, among other activities.
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
(I know Paul, I left myself wide open for that comment.)
Not cooking. :cry: They need the N A V Y for nutrition! :idea:
Apr 15, 2015 00:56:00 #
Coos Bay Tom
Loc: coos bay oregon
AuntiE wrote:
Navy Beans with stewed tomatoes and onionsNot cooking. :cry: They need the N A V Y for nutrition! :idea:
:thumbup:
Apr 15, 2015 12:02:17 #
Coos Bay Tom wrote:
Navy Beans with stewed tomatoes and onions
:thumbup:
:thumbup:
Don't forget the old standby, S. O. S.
Apr 15, 2015 22:17:16 #
Apr 15, 2015 22:31:31 #
moldyoldy wrote:
I liked SOS.
Many, if not most, of us did.
Apr 16, 2015 21:35:48 #
Apr 16, 2015 21:51:35 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
Many, if not most, of us did.
Did you know there is a company selling the creamed chip beef in a bag? All you need is your own toast. Very very very frightening. :idea: :roll:
Apr 16, 2015 22:02:41 #
AuntiE wrote:
Did you know there is a company selling the creamed chip beef in a bag? All you need is your own toast. Very very very frightening. :idea: :roll:
tain't az gud az da riginul
Apr 16, 2015 22:07:33 #
AuntiE wrote:
Did you know there is a company selling the creamed chip beef in a bag? All you need is your own toast. Very very very frightening. :idea: :roll:
Yikes! Although I did hear of sh*t on a shingle growing up, the rare occasions when my family had creamed chipped beef on toast (due to being poor) I kind of liked it.
The idea of an industrially-produced bag of the stuff kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
Apr 16, 2015 22:31:37 #
PaulPisces wrote:
Yikes! Although I did hear of sh*t on a shingle growing up, the rare occasions when my family had creamed chipped beef on toast (due to being poor) I kind of liked it.
The idea of an industrially-produced bag of the stuff kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
The idea of an industrially-produced bag of the stuff kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
I paid attention in the market yesterday, because of this subject. It is sold by Esskay. My father forbid it ever being in our home. He said he would eat fried Spam before ever eating creamed chip beef...again.
Apr 16, 2015 22:51:51 #
AuntiE wrote:
I paid attention in the market yesterday, because of this subject. It is sold by Esskay. My father forbid it ever being in our home. He said he would eat fried Spam before ever eating creamed chip beef...again.
That is because it was never prepared by a Marine cook. Had he been so blessed, he would never be without it.
Apr 16, 2015 22:59:53 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
That is because it was never prepared by a Marine cook. Had he been so blessed, he would never be without it.
Perhaps. The other thing never allowed was orange marmalade.
By the way, our prep school cook was a Marine. I have never touched cauliflower in cheese sauce since experiencing his efforts in ruining it. :hunf: :hunf: :evil: :shock:
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