Need outsider perspective: If someone I love thinks that the smell of cigarettes (third hand smoke) is harmful to them, is it wrong for me to avoid spending time with them if I have...

just_sayin' Loc: Former United States of America

If someone I love thinks that the smell of cigarettes (third hand smoke) is harmful to them, is it wrong for me to avoid spending time with them if I have smoked since I last showered? Is it reasonable to say that my fixation on smoking has ruined our relationship because I love smoking more than I love them?
My loved one in this case is my 30-year old daughter, who is the mother of my only grandchild, who will be 1 year old on Friday.

grace scott

just_sayin' wrote:

If someone I love thinks that the smell of cigarettes (third hand smoke) is harmful to them, is it wrong for me to avoid spending time with them if I have smoked since I last showered? Is it reasonable to say that my fixation on smoking has ruined our relationship because I love smoking more than I love them?
My loved one in this case is my 30-year old daughter, who is the mother of my only grandchild, who will be 1 year old on Friday.

Bad situation. Either your daughter loves you enough to risk losing you in order to get you to quit smoking or she is using this as an excuse to get you out of her life.

I recommend you start smoking E-cigarettes. My doctor's ARNP recommended them to me. There are a lot of brands out there, just keep trying until you find the right one for you. This will at least keep you smoke free from bath to daughter. The ARNP recommended smoking a regular cigarette, then an E-cig.

I keep trying to find the right one for my daughter-in-law.

just_sayin' Loc: Former United States of America

Thank you Grace. That is an excellent suggestion. I can use a vape when I want to spend time with her.

Pap Pap Loc: Etna, PA

just_sayin' wrote:

If someone I love thinks that the smell of cigarettes (third hand smoke) is harmful to them, is it wrong for me to avoid spending time with them if I have smoked since I last showered? Is it reasonable to say that my fixation on smoking has ruined our relationship because I love smoking more than I love them?
My loved one in this case is my 30-year old daughter, who is the mother of my only grandchild, who will be 1 year old on Friday.

That's a tough one. I have the same thing going on with my family they don't smoke and can't stand my cigarettes. I live alone so I am not bothering them there. :? :? :?

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

just_sayin' wrote:

Thank you Grace. That is an excellent suggestion. I can use a vape when I want to spend time with her.

See! Compromise saves the day everywhere!

But Just Sayin', I'm wondering if this is an opportunity for you to do something good for YOURSELF and try to quit smoking. Ultimately you'll be happier (and healthier). My mom smoked 2 packs a day for over 50 years. If she could quit, anyone can.

mcmlx

just_sayin' wrote:

If someone I love thinks that the smell of cigarettes (third hand smoke) is harmful to them, is it wrong for me to avoid spending time with them if I have smoked since I last showered? Is it reasonable to say that my fixation on smoking has ruined our relationship because I love smoking more than I love them?
My loved one in this case is my 30-year old daughter, who is the mother of my only grandchild, who will be 1 year old on Friday.

Hey, just_sayin. Funny how it didn't matter that my grandparents smoked or chewed forty years ago. They loved me and my parents were able to somehow accept the fact that family is family, no matter what their own parents and grandparents chose to do. It's called respecting the loved ones who raised them very well.
So, if for a week or two, Papa had to go outside to smoke, second hand smoke wasn't an issue. Guess they didn't have a lot of government bullies telling them what to do in the sixties.
BTW, what the heck is "third hand smoke"? Another government ploy?
MCMLX

just_sayin' Loc: Former United States of America

mcmlx wrote:

Hey, just_sayin. Funny how it didn't matter that ... (show quote)

Third hand smoke is the "smell" left behind in your hair and on your clothes. Although third hand smoke contains toxins, there has been no link between it and adverse health effects to those exposed. I think it's a ploy to bully smokers.

mcmlx

just_sayin' wrote:

Third hand smoke is the "smell" left behind in your hair and on your clothes. Although third hand smoke contains toxins, there has been no link between it and adverse health effects to those exposed. I think it's a ploy to bully smokers.

Right, js, like we don't, and haven't been breathing "toxins" all of our lives.
Government says now that the methane gas in cow farts are toxic. LMAO at that one.
So how bout those chemtrails we see daily? The GMO food we eat?
Yep. Gotta love the propaganda.
MCMLX

mcmlx

mcmlx wrote:

Right, js, like we don't, and haven't been breathing "toxins" all of our lives.
Government says now that the methane gas in cow farts are toxic. LMAO at that one.
So how bout those chemtrails we see daily? The GMO food we eat?
Yep. Gotta love the propaganda.
MCMLX

And I hope your 30 year old will get a clue.

just_sayin' Loc: Former United States of America

mcmlx wrote:

And I hope your 30 year old will get a clue.

Maybe she will - 30 years down the road... When HER child puts unreasonable demands on her.

mcmlx

just_sayin' wrote:

Maybe she will - 30 years down the road... When HER child puts unreasonable demands on her.

Just try not to take it too hard. But then, I wouldn't know ANYTHING about being a hard headed daughter, or having one. My mama always said it would come back to me. 😎
MCMLX

rocketride

just_sayin' wrote:

Third hand smoke is the "smell" left behind in your hair and on your clothes. Although third hand smoke contains toxins, there has been no link between it and adverse health effects to those exposed. I think it's a ploy to bully smokers.

Hell, the 'evidence' for health effects of second-hand smoke is weak except for where it is present in the highest concentrations and for long exposures.

rocketride

mcmlx wrote:

Just try not to take it too hard. But then, I wouldn't know ANYTHING about being a hard headed daughter, or having one. My mama always said it would come back to me. 😎
MCMLX

BTW, if I might ask, what is the significance of '1960' to you?

mcmlx

rocketride wrote:

BTW, if I might ask, what is the significance of '1960' to you?

Maybe the year I was born.
My daughter is MCMXC.
Daddy is MCMXXXII.
Mama is MCMXXXV.
Grandbaby is MMIX.
Fun, huh?
Crap, now I've given away all of the mystery.
😏 MCMLX

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

rocketride wrote:

Hell, the 'evidence' for health effects of second-hand smoke is weak except for where it is present in the highest concentrations and for long exposures.

Not to be a spoil sport here, but I have lupus and for me that equals respiratory issues. My husband, John, and I are in our 60's. John smoked from the time he was 10 until this past December, when he had a medical emergency. Even though it has been very hard for him to quit, he has. He will also tell you that the only reason he quit is because his surgeon scared him into it. We had expensive air filters going 24/7 for my benefit. My husband says quitting smoking is probably one of the best things he has ever done, but also just about the hardest. Two of my three sons smoke, but they take it outside even in the dead of winter because they have small children and they worry about how the second hand smoke might affect them.