moldyoldy

> One year, I decided to buy my
> mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas
> gift...The next year, I didn't buy
> her a gift.When she asked me why, I
> replied,"Well, you still haven't
> used the gift I bought you last
> year!"And that's how the fight
> started.....________________________________
> My wife and I were watching Who
> Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
> bed.I turned to her and said, 'Do
> you want to have
> sex?''No,' she
> answered.I then said,'Is that your
> final answer?'She didn't even look at me
> this time, simply saying,
> 'Yes..'So I said, "Then I'd like
> to phone a
> friend."And that's when the fight
> started...________________________________
> I took my wife to a
> restaurant.The waiter, for some reason, took
> my order first."I'll have the rump
> steak, rare,
> please."He said, "Aren't you
> worried about the mad
> cow?""Nah, she can order for
> herself."And that's when the fight
> started....._______________________________
> My wife and I were sitting at a
> table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a
> drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby
> table.I asked her, "Do you know
> him?""Yes", she
> sighed,"He's my old boyfriend. I
> understand he took to drinking right after we split up those
> many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
> since.""My God!" I said,
> "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
> long?"And then the fight
> started...________________________________
> When our lawn mower broke and
> wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should
> get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
> take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always
> something more important to me. Finally she thought of a
> clever way to make her
> point.When I arrived home one day, I
> found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
> with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
> a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a
> minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
> I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might
> as well sweep the
> driveway."The doctors say I will walk again,
> but I will always have a
> limp.______________________________
> My wife sat down next to me as I was
> flipping channels.She asked, "What's on
> TV?"I said,
> "Dust."And then the fight
> started...________________________________
> My wife was hinting about what she
> wanted for our upcoming
> anniversary.She said, "I want something
> shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2
> seconds."I bought her a bathroom
> scale.And then the fight
> started......______________________________
> After retiring, I went to the Social
> Security office to apply for Social
> Security.The woman behind the counter asked
> me for my driver's License to verify my
> age.I looked in my pockets and
> realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
> I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
> later.The woman said, 'Unbutton your
> shirt'.So I opened my shirt revealing my
> curly silver hair.She said, 'That silver hair on
> your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
> Social Security
> application.When I got home, I excitedly told
> my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
> have gotten disability
> too.'And then the fight
> started...________________________________
> My wife was standing nude, looking
> in the bedroom
> mirror.She was not happy with what she
> saw and said to
> me,"I feel horrible; I look old,
> fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment.'I replied, "Your
> eyesight's damn near
> perfect."And then the fight
> started........________________________________

Ronald Hatt Loc: Lansing, Mich

How about "this one"............America elected a Mulatto, to be President, because he "promised to fundamentally change America"........He got elected, & did exactly what he promised................

Then the fight began!...................................... :twisted:

Remember America, "John Gruber said it best: The "American Liberal V**er is very, very stupid"!
King Obama, said: Pay the man 4Million Dollars!
And then the fight began!

Maybe, America should "EXILE", all the trouble makers.....to......."IRAN"......SYRIA.......AFGHANISTAN.......IRAQ.......WELL......"AT THIS POINT, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? ?? ? ? ? ?.......................... :shock: :arrow: :twisted:

archie bunker Loc: Texas

Kudos moldy! :thumbup: Good ones!! :thumbup:
I think ol Ronald needs to pull that stick out of his butt, and lighten up a bit! This was funny! :lol: :lol:

Ronald Hatt Loc: Lansing, Mich

Who thinks it "isn't funny?


What is your pre-occupation with "butts"? & anal insertions? This is Sunday......try to act decent!.............. :mrgreen:

archie bunker Loc: Texas

I wouldn't exactly call it a pre-occupation........

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

I don't care who you are--That's some funny stuff.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup:

Ronald Hatt Loc: Lansing, Mich

You.....said it....."not me"!...................... :thumbup:

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

Hilarious - each and every one.

jelun

Cute, MO!

moldyoldy

My pre deliction, is to insert a little humor into everyones butt. Before we get to the serious acrimonious subjects.

ninetogo

________________________________________________
Moldy;
In the past, you and I have not agreed on much, BUT for the first time we can agree that your post was damned funny. Thanks for sharing!

Ronald Hatt Loc: Lansing, Mich

Try their "ears" first.....if all else fails.........

Let the "fight begin"!.................................. :thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Good-uns, Moldyoldy :!: :thumbup: :lol:

Loki Loc: Georgia

Alright! Several new ones, at least, new to me. Good ones, too.

wuzblynd Loc: thomson georgia

The only time I laff harder is when I play golf!!!!