slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went deadly silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way." said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the bar. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, but...I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

:lol: :lol: You Dawg you :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Top drawer mate.

mongo Loc: TEXAS

:lol: :shock: :lol:

SEMPER FI

BearK Loc: TN

Good one, Slats :lol: :lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

An elephant-ear leaf would have really grabbed her attention. :wink:

BearK Loc: TN

Guess it didn't take much to wake curiosity. Fig leaves get pretty big.

Last winter k**led the fig tree, at the other house, it came back - but this winter will get it again. Darn, fresh figs are really sweet and juicy. These were green figs, the brown ones are even sweeter.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I love figs...and, Fig Newtons. :-P

BearK Loc: TN

Slats, I'm going to use this site of yours to post the following. It went around when I was a kid (that means it's old as dirt), but either folks have forgotten it - or being so young, you may never heard it before:

Your teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
You have a twinkle in your eyes - the sun shining between your ears.
You have a soft heart - and head to match.
Her hair has waves like the sea - the dead sea.
She has a butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.
Your ears are like flowers - cauliflowers.
You have a heart of gold - and teeth to match.
When I look into your eyes - I see the back of your head.
Your eyes are like pools - football pools.
Your complexion is like Emmenthal - full of holes.
Brains aren't everything - in your case they're nothing!
Your lips are like petals: bicycle pedals.
You have a mind like a steel trap - always closed!
She has a nose like a bloodhound - constantly dripping.
Your eyes are like pools - cesspools.
Your skin is so soft - like mould on an orange

I hope you never heard it and it gives you a laugh.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I recall parts, and all of them still give me a chuckle.:thumbup:

You are quite the poet, young lady. :wink:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

I can recall some of those Bear, but not all. Thanks for the memories.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Thank you, Mr. Bob Hope. :mrgreen:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

De nada. Bitte. You are welcome.

BearK Loc: TN

You can't beat good memories, or at least funny ones.