Lovemaking tips for seniors
Feb 6, 2015 00:59:15 #
Going the e-mail rounds.
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner actually is in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner actually is in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
Feb 6, 2015 03:40:24 #
Elwood wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. br br ... (show quote)
Mr. El Kabong ya done it again! I'm still grinning here and even my wife got a charge out of the "Old Is... " part.
Nicely done!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Feb 6, 2015 09:06:48 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
Elwood wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. br br ... (show quote)
Unfortunately most of these are facts not jokes SWMBO and I got a kick out of them, but we won't tell you which ones aren't true. That is our secret.
Feb 6, 2015 11:08:46 #
RockKnutne wrote:
Mr. El Kabong ya done it again! I'm still grinning here and even my wife got a charge out of the "Old Is... " part.
Nicely done!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Nicely done!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Thank you Rock. :-D
Feb 6, 2015 11:09:05 #
no propaganda please wrote:
Unfortunately most of these are facts not jokes SWMBO and I got a kick out of them, but we won't tell you which ones aren't true. That is our secret.
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Feb 7, 2015 11:14:33 #
Elwood wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. br br ... (show quote)
:thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Feb 7, 2015 13:23:25 #
Feb 7, 2015 13:55:12 #
Feb 7, 2015 13:55:31 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.