Elwood Loc: Florida

Newest Redneck humor – Pearls of wisdom...


You're An EXTREME Redneck When...


1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


2 .The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.


3 .You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.


4 .You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.


5 .You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.


6 .Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'


7 .You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.


8 .Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.


9 .Your junior prom offered day care.


10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'


11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.


12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.


13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.


14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.


15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.


16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.


17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

NOW ALL Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

I'm not always fond of what I call hillbilly humor. But I have to say, having grown up in the South and lived 13 years in Texas, this made me chuckle. Too much t***h in humor!!

:thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol:

Elwood, it's time to retire from printing jokes/humor...go out while you're on top :!: :!: :!: Great list of 'redneck humor'. :thumbup:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

:thumbup:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol:

Loki Loc: Georgia

Jeff Foxworthy is hilarious.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

As are all the 'Blue Collar Comedy' gang :!:

Tasine Loc: Southwest US

Thoroughly enjoyed these pearls of enlightenment. Keep 'em coming! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

rebob14

To these I'd like to add my favorite, which I heard while living
in West Va: what does a W. Va. woman say after having sex?
"Get off me, Daddy, ur crushin' my Marlboros"

Loki Loc: Georgia

The toothbrush was invented by a man from Arkansas. Had anyone else invented it, it would have been called a "teethbrush."

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Funny, but as true in West Virginia :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Off the top of my head, the best thing to ever come out of West Virginia was Jerry West. :wink: :thumbup:

Tasine Loc: Southwest US

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Tasine Loc: Southwest US

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: