English Mensa Invitational for Lexophiles
Jan 19, 2015 11:21:22 #
This was forwarded to me by a friend; I found it amusing.
English Mensa Invitational For Lexophiles
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid
7. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.
English Mensa Invitational For Lexophiles
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid
7. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.
Jan 19, 2015 11:43:46 #
melbell
Loc: California / Kentucky
pafret wrote:
This was forwarded to me by a friend; I found it a... (show quote)
Loved this as family.
Simply, Brilliant.
Jan 19, 2015 11:52:23 #
melbell wrote:
Loved this as family.
Simply, Brilliant.
Simply, Brilliant.
Glad you enjoyed it Mel. It was a refreshing change from all of the horrific news coming through the emails and the ideology bashing here on OPP.
Jan 19, 2015 12:09:29 #
melbell
Loc: California / Kentucky
pafret wrote:
Glad you enjoyed it Mel. It was a refreshing change from all of the horrific news coming through the emails and the ideology bashing here on OPP.
Yes, Refreshing.
Care to have a go at Refreshing?
Jan 19, 2015 13:09:56 #
LAPhil
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
Those are really good. Just as a side note "Carmageddon" (appropriately spelled with a 'C') was a term which was used to refer to the conditions on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles during the two weekends where part of it had to be closed in one direction for construction.
Jan 19, 2015 13:40:33 #
Jan 20, 2015 15:26:01 #
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