https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-disprove-claims-they-will-covertly-rig-e******n-by-rigging-it-in-plain-sight?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email

AUGUSTA, ME — In a move designed to push back against criticism that they have a track record of r*****g e******ns in secret, Democrats have now adopted a policy of r*****g e******ns in broad daylight so everyone in the country can see it.

"We are being entirely t***sparent about our e******n i**********e," said Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows after announcing former President Donald Trump will not be allowed on the 2024 primary b****t. "Any wild allegations of covert efforts to rig e******ns are simply preposterous. As anyone can clearly see, the steps we are taking to interfere with and rig the outcome of our e******ns are being done in plain sight. This is a win for democracy."

Bellows's decision to rule Trump ineligible to be included on the state's b****t came on the heels of a hotly debated ruling by the Colorado Supreme Court that also attempted to keep Trump's name off the b****t in that state. Though serious questions have been raised regarding the legitimacy of e******ns, Democrats deny any secret plots. "We aren't hiding anything," Bellows said. "Everyone can see what the FBI and DOJ are doing. All these baseless indictments aren't being made in secret. Heck, I made a public announcement about taking him off the b****t. I don't know where these accusations of us covertly rigging the e******n are coming from."

At publishing time, top Democrat powerbrokers were reportedly also preparing to begin operations in every state to rule all Republican v**ers ineligible to v**e in any e******ns in order to save democracy.

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-disprove-claims-they-will-covertly-rig-e******n-by-rigging-it-in-plain-sight?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email

AUGUSTA, ME — In a move designed to push back against criticism that they have a track record of r*****g e******ns in secret, Democrats have now adopted a policy of r*****g e******ns in broad daylight so everyone in the country can see it.

"We are being entirely t***sparent about our e******n i**********e," said Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows after announcing former President Donald Trump will not be allowed on the 2024 primary b****t. "Any wild allegations of covert efforts to rig e******ns are simply preposterous. As anyone can clearly see, the steps we are taking to interfere with and rig the outcome of our e******ns are being done in plain sight. This is a win for democracy."

Bellows's decision to rule Trump ineligible to be included on the state's b****t came on the heels of a hotly debated ruling by the Colorado Supreme Court that also attempted to keep Trump's name off the b****t in that state. Though serious questions have been raised regarding the legitimacy of e******ns, Democrats deny any secret plots. "We aren't hiding anything," Bellows said. "Everyone can see what the FBI and DOJ are doing. All these baseless indictments aren't being made in secret. Heck, I made a public announcement about taking him off the b****t. I don't know where these accusations of us covertly rigging the e******n are coming from."

At publishing time, top Democrat powerbrokers were reportedly also preparing to begin operations in every state to rule all Republican v**ers ineligible to v**e in any e******ns in order to save democracy.