A nun grading papers
Jul 27, 2023 15:01:34 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Here are answers gathered from tests about the Old and New Testaments in a Catholic school. Imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintaining her composure. The answers are printed as they were written by the students...pardon the grammatical/spelling errors involved.
In the 1st book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, and the animals came on in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
The Jews were a proud people, and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic g*****ls.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Moses led the jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cynanide to get the ten commandments.
The 1st commandmenst was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The 7th commandment is Thous shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada, then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king who was sk**led at playing the liar. He fought the Findlesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John the B****smith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do unto you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who folllowed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the Oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached Holy Acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Lord, please have a sense of humor!
In the 1st book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, and the animals came on in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
The Jews were a proud people, and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic g*****ls.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Moses led the jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cynanide to get the ten commandments.
The 1st commandmenst was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The 7th commandment is Thous shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada, then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king who was sk**led at playing the liar. He fought the Findlesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John the B****smith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do unto you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who folllowed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the Oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached Holy Acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Lord, please have a sense of humor!
Jul 27, 2023 15:13:32 #
Jul 28, 2023 09:59:44 #
FallenOak
Loc: St George Utah
slatten49 wrote:
Here are answers gathered from tests about the Old... (show quote)
Reminds me of Art Linkletters book, 'Kids Say the Darndest Things'.
Thanks for the humor.
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.