10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson
Apr 28, 2023 11:26:20 #
10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson
Satire from The Bee
Brought to you by DonorsTrust:
The world of political media is still reeling from the shocking news of Tucker Carlson being let go, but as with anything in the fast-paced business of cable news, the show must go on. Fox News has yet to reveal any plans regarding who or what may fill Carlson's vacated nightly prime-time spot, but the channel will surely attempt to hit a home run with its decision.
The Babylon Bee has compiled a list of absolutely perfect candidates for Tucker's replacement:
Lizzo: She's landing massive cameos in shows like The Mandalorian, so it would be a big deal for Fox to land such a huge, huge, very huge star.
David French: He's the fearless, stalwart guardian of true conservatism.
A robot anchorman who will thoughtlessly read the teleprompter verbatim: No opinions, just push the narrative, got it?
A Tomahawk missile with an American f**g painted on it: 'MURICA!
A black mermaid: When you're getting rid of a white male, you replace him with a black female. Those are the rules now.
Adam Kinzinger: If Fox wants to go the emotional tear-jerker route, there's no one better suited to weep on television.
Hot blonde female anchor Tucketta Cartson: Wow. She's gorgeous. Where have we seen her before?
Volodymyr Zelensky: This would be the best choice for the good of Ukraine, er, America.
Liz Cheney: Fox would be silly not to hire the most popular politician in history.
John Bolton's mustache: Facial hair is still in style, and this facial hair is on a mission to start some wars.
Wow--so many good choices. Good luck, Fox News!
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-potential-candidates-to-replace-tucker-carlson?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email
Satire from The Bee
Brought to you by DonorsTrust:
The world of political media is still reeling from the shocking news of Tucker Carlson being let go, but as with anything in the fast-paced business of cable news, the show must go on. Fox News has yet to reveal any plans regarding who or what may fill Carlson's vacated nightly prime-time spot, but the channel will surely attempt to hit a home run with its decision.
The Babylon Bee has compiled a list of absolutely perfect candidates for Tucker's replacement:
Lizzo: She's landing massive cameos in shows like The Mandalorian, so it would be a big deal for Fox to land such a huge, huge, very huge star.
David French: He's the fearless, stalwart guardian of true conservatism.
A robot anchorman who will thoughtlessly read the teleprompter verbatim: No opinions, just push the narrative, got it?
A Tomahawk missile with an American f**g painted on it: 'MURICA!
A black mermaid: When you're getting rid of a white male, you replace him with a black female. Those are the rules now.
Adam Kinzinger: If Fox wants to go the emotional tear-jerker route, there's no one better suited to weep on television.
Hot blonde female anchor Tucketta Cartson: Wow. She's gorgeous. Where have we seen her before?
Volodymyr Zelensky: This would be the best choice for the good of Ukraine, er, America.
Liz Cheney: Fox would be silly not to hire the most popular politician in history.
John Bolton's mustache: Facial hair is still in style, and this facial hair is on a mission to start some wars.
Wow--so many good choices. Good luck, Fox News!
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-potential-candidates-to-replace-tucker-carlson?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email
Apr 28, 2023 11:48:29 #
crazylibertarian
Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
Oldsailor65 wrote:
10 Perfect Candidates To Replace Tucker Carlson br... (show quote)
I've always thought of Howdy Doody to replace Joe Biden.
Apr 28, 2023 11:59:32 #
Apr 28, 2023 12:32:04 #
crazylibertarian wrote:
I've always thought of Howdy Doody to replace Joe Biden.
Howdey has too much class....
I used to watch Howdey.......I was in love with "Princess Summerfall Winterspring " we used to email each other back in the 1950s
I recommend "Walter" as a replacement for Biden...
Apr 29, 2023 06:58:21 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Howdey has too much class.... br I used to watch H... (show quote)
Princess Summerfall Winterspring? Judy Tyler was also the leading lady in Jailhouse Rock.
Apr 29, 2023 07:45:49 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Howdey has too much class.... br I used to watch H... (show quote)
Email in the fiftys...huh
Apr 29, 2023 11:47:57 #
elledee wrote:
Email in the fiftys...huh
Oh yeah.....didn't you??? I wouldn't lie to OPP.
Apr 29, 2023 14:09:48 #
elledee wrote:
Email in the fiftys...huh
Everybody can tell that's a lie. However, me and Annette talked daily after her appearance of Mickey Mouse Show via soup cans and a very very long string. I can prove it, I still have the can.
Apr 29, 2023 14:15:08 #
F.D.R. wrote:
Everybody can tell that's a lie. However, me and Annette talked daily after her appearance of Mickey Mouse Show via soup cans and a very very long string. I can prove it, I still have the can.
Call'n me a lier huh.....go sit on that can
Apr 29, 2023 14:26:50 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Call'n me a lier huh.....go sit on that can
E-mail didn’t start until 1971. Perhaps you’re confused.
Apr 29, 2023 15:10:52 #
JR-57 wrote:
E-mail didn’t start until 1971. Perhaps you’re confused.
Oh....No....we used Morris Code back them...I wouldn't BS anyone on OPP
Apr 29, 2023 15:32:42 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Oh....No....we used Morris Code back them...I wouldn't BS anyone on OPP
Morris was a cat.
Apr 29, 2023 15:49:35 #
JR-57 wrote:
Morris was a cat.
Wrong again....Tom was the cat who played the part of Morris in the commercials.
Apr 29, 2023 18:01:17 #
Jacquie
Loc: New York
Old sailor is as salty as he is funny. The for the comic relief. PS Walter gets my v**e no matter which party he's with!
Apr 29, 2023 18:03:11 #
Jacquie wrote:
Old sailor is as salty as he is funny. The for the comic relief. PS Walter gets my v**e no matter which party he's with!
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