Grugore wrote:
Self defense is not murder. If someone dies as a result of attacking me or my loved ones, they brought it on themselves. I had nothing to do with it. Their death would be a direct result of their own actions, and I would consider myself blameless. I'll never understand pacifists.
I am saying I am physically incapable of k*****g an aggressor at this point in my life. So do I send my SONS to risk precious life and limbs in my defense? When my first baby was placed in my arms, I KNEW that if he were in the path of a speeding locomotive, no prob, my invincible MOM body would repel the train and I would not have hesitated to throw myself over him to protect him expecting no resulting injury to myself or him! Should I now allow myself to become that locomotive? Demand that they now perish for me and what little time I have left?
I'm a little more sensible now. I know I do not have the power to k**l an aggressor in combat. I have alternatives.
A few years ago I was in the hospital to withdraw from massive amounts of pain meds following orthopedic surguries. A man, 300+ lb 6+ ft, began harassing the four women at our table. I asked him to leave us alone. He became excited, jumped up and grabbed my cane, swinging it and stating he would teach us all a lesson. As the cane swooshed over my head, I grabbed his left middle finger with my right hand, walked it under his armpit turned it backwards to his back with only a slight amount of pressure. I told him, "It takes as much pressure to break your knuckle as to snap a popsicle stick." He answered correctly, "Yes, ma'am?" We negotiated the return of my cane and an apology to my companions. I thanked him to leave our presence. He left.
If its important to you to not take a human life, you can find a way to survive, or you will die for your beliefs. You do understand dying for your beliefs?
I, too, would consider you blameless, but even justified homicide leaves a permanent hole in one's heart.
You are the alpha male protector, forceful, direct and ruthless when needed. I am the mysterious Earth Mother, nurturing female life force, a secret source of hidden strengths, working in mysterious ways behind the scenes.
I suspect both are vital in the whole scheme of things. And perhaps neither of us can handle the t***h, bear the pain of the whole of this question's answer.
Still. I love you.