bdamage Loc: My Bunker

The Americans with No Abilities Act (ANAA)

President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans with No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real sk**ls or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans with No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans with No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any sk**ls or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job
security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin, II: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nationand a good salary for doing so."

This message was approved by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, DianeFeinstein, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barack Obama.

Dave Loc: Upstate New York

Very well done - and pretty close to what the liberal Democrats would say if they ever decided to be honest and t***hful in their campaign messaging.

sgtyork

This will end ovomits constant reference to going to college for a better education. The constant adds on TV that college grads will make more than a non college grad. Will be worthless.

CowboyMilt

Very well done, I was almost believing it for a moment, sounds like something the aforementioned would come up with if they were left in a room unsupervised...what kind of word can we make out of all their 1st initials that we could use as a warning to the populace?

bdamage Loc: My Bunker

That's a good question Milt....lets see what can be the possibilities.

Super Dave Loc: Realville, USA

And all of this legislation is so good and promises to be so popular that the dufus in chief waited until after the e******n to troll it out.

just care

I think every politician would qualify for such a position.
Who's more unqualified and unmotivated than they are?

Super Dave Loc: Realville, USA

Correction - XOs, not Legislation.

Bad Bob Loc: Virginia

Can you boys please tell me how a black liberal c****e Muslim could beat your ass twice?

Bad Bob Loc: Virginia

Super Dave Loc: Realville, USA

Politics is show, not substance.

memartin

These ignorant Democratic/Socialists are as insane as Obama. How can a country be great if we don't allow each person to learn, do, perform to the best of their ability, and grow? Training these people, and then giving them jobs, is one thing; but to reward them for being lazy and useless is another. If this isn't Satan and his fallen angels that are called the Democratic Party, what is?

bdamage Loc: My Bunker

That's easy.
The last 2 p**********l e******ns were r****d by the "establishment" Repubs by putting up boring candidates who had no chance of winning.
Americans were therefore uninterested.
I believe they just may be coming around now, but I still wouldn't bet on it.

Bad Bob Loc: Virginia

How can you say "boring" when their last candidate had magic underwear?

:?

skott Loc: Bama

The Republican theme song....