dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

Enjoy

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just up and read this again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather W****stone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking k**ls. If you're k**led, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the k*****gs, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .."

-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to
Your brilliant friends.



I just did !!

keepuphope Loc: Idaho

I love it when you post these, it brings a chuckle in a almost certain miserable day. The h**e and division is unnerving sometimes.

Marty 2020 Loc: Banana Republic of Kalifornia

Really really nice job 😂😂😂😂😂

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Tuck, you offer really good humor with your memes/photos, jokes and cartoons.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

How are you? Are things warming up yet? I think we are in for another round of rain and snow this week. They're saying Mammoth will have skiing in July. Glad you like the memes and cartoons, etc. A person has to laugh at this insane world in order to keep their sanity. On the other hand, if you can remain calm when all others around you are losing their minds, you don't understand the gravity of the situation. Stay well.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

We lost a Brother 'Nam Vet recently. We attended his funeral/memorial service on the 18th, and he will be included in our toasts to lost Brother's-In-Arms tomorrow at our monthly luncheon. As it was his favorite whiskey, I bought some Crown Royal Regal Apple for our toasts. We will also salute/toast buddies that never made it home alive, plus others lost over the years of our luncheon gatherings. Five of 'em have been lost to various health problems in the last six or seven years. We are a dwindling breed.

I have my quarterly VA check-up tomorrow at 8 am.

keepuphope Loc: Idaho

Thank you, all our brave soldiers who protected us.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Sir/ma'am, that is appreciated.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

That's always difficult to deal with, and we will experience more and more of it as we get older. We are now entering the same phase that WWII veterans started experiencing in the 1990s; An acceleration in losing our remaining Vietnam Veterans.

keepuphope Loc: Idaho

It's ma'am and both my father and brother did two stints in the service. So your in good company with me. Be blessed my brothers.

BIRDMAN

keepuphope Loc: Idaho

David L Loc: Central Wisconsin

And don't forget, " A nickle ain't worth a dime anymore." Also, "The place is so crowded that nobody goes there anymore." Both by Yogi Berra.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

Yogi-isms don't do justice to the caliber of player that he was. He has rings for all ten of his digits.