For all the Marines on OPP
Aug 24, 2022 14:08:50 #
“When You’re A Marine”
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me 6 stitches . . . but when you’re a Marine— who cares?
I went to the drug store and told the clerk “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah – She’s pretty good lookin’ . . . . . . "
When you’re a Marine – who cares?
I was talking to a young woman in the club last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but when you’re a Marine – who cares?
I was telling a woman in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really” she said, “Go on then . . . try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
I said, “Yesterday.”
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but when you’re a Marine – who cares?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re a Marine – who cares?
I went to the strip club last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
Cost me 6 more stitches, but when you’re a Marine-- who cares?
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me 6 stitches . . . but when you’re a Marine— who cares?
I went to the drug store and told the clerk “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah – She’s pretty good lookin’ . . . . . . "
When you’re a Marine – who cares?
I was talking to a young woman in the club last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but when you’re a Marine – who cares?
I was telling a woman in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really” she said, “Go on then . . . try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
I said, “Yesterday.”
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but when you’re a Marine – who cares?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re a Marine – who cares?
I went to the strip club last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
Cost me 6 more stitches, but when you’re a Marine-- who cares?
Aug 25, 2022 03:30:49 #
Aug 25, 2022 14:04:12 #
Aug 25, 2022 14:30:16 #
Aug 26, 2022 07:23:49 #
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