Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15
Jul 3, 2022 16:29:03 #
AUSTIN, TX - After years of fighting lame California politicians who want to lock everyone in their homes so they can't go to space or build cool stuff, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced he was moving to a land flowing with milk and honey called Texas. Almost immediately after the move, he announced a new product the whole world has been waiting for: the Tesla AR-15.
"Um... h-howdy, I think," said Elon, expertly taking on the local dialect. "Y'all want a Tesla AR-15? You got it, partner!"
The new firearm will look similar to a standard AR-15 but will in fact be a battery-powered railgun capable of firing 3 million rounds per minute. It will also feature a fingerprint sensor, Bluetooth capability, heat-seeking ammunition, and a chainsaw bayonet.
"We really wanted to re-think self-defense," said Musk. "This new firearm will be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens. It's also a celebration of the Second Amendment. If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to the internet and file a lawsuit for you!"
The Federal Government has requested that Tesla at least remove the AI-powered "self-driving" feature on the firearm before selling it.
"Um... h-howdy, I think," said Elon, expertly taking on the local dialect. "Y'all want a Tesla AR-15? You got it, partner!"
The new firearm will look similar to a standard AR-15 but will in fact be a battery-powered railgun capable of firing 3 million rounds per minute. It will also feature a fingerprint sensor, Bluetooth capability, heat-seeking ammunition, and a chainsaw bayonet.
"We really wanted to re-think self-defense," said Musk. "This new firearm will be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens. It's also a celebration of the Second Amendment. If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to the internet and file a lawsuit for you!"
The Federal Government has requested that Tesla at least remove the AI-powered "self-driving" feature on the firearm before selling it.
Jul 3, 2022 16:39:22 #
manning5
Loc: Richmond, VA
Peaver Bogart wrote:
AUSTIN, TX - After years of fighting lame Californ... (show quote)
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Did Musk forget a 70db silencer, a bipod, and a very, very, very large magazine?
Jul 3, 2022 17:21:38 #
manning5 wrote:
===========================
Did Musk forget a 70db silencer, a bipod, and a very, very, very large magazine?
Did Musk forget a 70db silencer, a bipod, and a very, very, very large magazine?
He probably connects it to twitter and it loads with bulls**t.
Jul 3, 2022 17:21:43 #
Jul 3, 2022 17:34:35 #
pegw wrote:
This has to be a joke.
No, it's absolutely true, I ordered mine today.
Jul 3, 2022 18:03:15 #
manning5
Loc: Richmond, VA
Peaver Bogart wrote:
No, it's absolutely true, I ordered mine today.
Me too, but it surely was expensive! $40K! And I had a Vet discount!
Jul 3, 2022 18:43:29 #
manning5 wrote:
Me too, but it surely was expensive! $40K! And I had a Vet discount!
Yep, I had to take out a loan, but I got a deal at only 20% interest.
Jul 3, 2022 21:40:00 #
manning5
Loc: Richmond, VA
Peaver Bogart wrote:
Yep, I had to take out a loan, but I got a deal at only 20% interest.
It came with 100 rounds, so I had to order 5,000 more. The gun uses that up in a half second.Musk needs to modify it to shoot three rounds at a time.
Jul 3, 2022 21:49:07 #
manning5 wrote:
It came with 100 rounds, so I had to order 5,000 more. The gun uses that up in a half second.Musk needs to modify it to shoot three rounds at a time.
I'm gonna order 3 million to see if it really shoots that many in a minute.
Jul 4, 2022 08:39:40 #
Peaver Bogart wrote:
AUSTIN, TX - After years of fighting lame Californ... (show quote)
It’s an Electric powered rail gun . Therefore it’s not using gunpowder, therefore it’s not a Firearm, therefore it’s not regulated by the ATF, therefore anyone can have one.!!!!
Jul 4, 2022 10:27:41 #
jimpack123
Loc: wisconsin
Peaver Bogart wrote:
He probably connects it to twitter and it loads with bulls**t.
hey a lot of righties are already wanting to buy it lol
Jul 4, 2022 13:41:12 #
Peaver Bogart wrote:
He probably connects it to twitter and it loads with bulls**t.
I think you've got something there Peaver. Instead of heat seeking rounds what's needed are bulls**t seeking rounds. That way no matter which direction you fire the weapon it'll find a progressive/democrat.
Jul 4, 2022 13:45:01 #
F.D.R. wrote:
I think you've got something there Peaver. Instead of heat seeking rounds what's needed are bulls**t seeking rounds. That way no matter which direction you fire the weapon it'll find a progressive/democrat.
😂🤣
Jul 4, 2022 15:14:47 #
F.D.R. wrote:
I think you've got something there Peaver. Instead of heat seeking rounds what's needed are bulls**t seeking rounds. That way no matter which direction you fire the weapon it'll find a progressive/democrat.
Jul 4, 2022 16:55:30 #
manning5
Loc: Richmond, VA
Peaver Bogart wrote:
Yes! Gather unto the public square all owners of the Musk AR-15, and let fly all the BS rounds you
have.
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