MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on you"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written."
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off of the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bed-time!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something with your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years!"
BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"At least Monica was a nice Jewish girl!"
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER: br "This you call ... (
We should think of one for Caligula's Jewish mother, and Genghis Khan's also. Maybe Nero. Or how about Hitler? His real name was Schicklegruber, you know. Sounds Jewish to me.
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