AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

https://babylonbee.com/news/sex-offenders-p*******es-and-democrats-hardest-hit-by-floridas-new-parental-rights-bill

Sex Offenders, P*******es, And Democrats Hardest Hit By Florida’s New Parental Rights Bill

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Governor Ron DeSantis has signed a bill into law stating that no one is allowed to teach kids 3rd grade or younger using creepy, sexually inappropriate, and graphic materials. The bill specifically prohibits discussing sexual orientation or g****r identity—which has obviously put sex offenders, p*******es, and Democrats in panic mode.

"We've been dealt a massive blow. This is utterly devastating to us," said Tom Peepers, a registered sex offender. "I used to be a guest speaker at local elementary schools. There I would indoctrinate—I mean educate kids on fun things to try when their parents weren't around, but now what am I supposed to do?"

Florida p*******es, democrats, and sex offenders have set up an emergency meeting to address what actions they should take moving forward. Many teachers have resigned, vowing to flee to other states more tolerant of teaching kindergarteners how to have sex with each other and themselves. "If we can't influence kids while they barely know how to read, our job becomes much harder." said concerned p*******e Chester Bovervitz.

"It's horrific! I can't read to kids sexually suggestive books or show them pornographic images," said Seidi Bundleflub—a g****r-nonconforming local teacher who is a registered Democrat and sex offender. "And now by law, we have to tell parents what their child identifies as. Their sexuality and g****r used to be our dirty little secret!"

At publishing time, all the sex offenders, p*******es, and Democrats were spotted protesting outside DeSantis's office until the bill was removed. They were throwing themselves on the ground, writhing, and foaming at the mouth while shouting "GAY!" to show DeSantis they were serious.

PeterS

[quote=AuntiE]
Good thing the Republican party is so squeaky clean...oh wait, what's this??? And we haven't even looked in the churches which are full of p*******es just waiting to suck the life out of our children...

Subject: Long list of Republican sex offenders


Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won e******ns for Denton County, Texas, constable.
Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.
Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.
Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.
Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.
Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.
Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.
Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.
Republican anti-a******n activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.
Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.
Republican anti-a******n activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an a******n doctor.
Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.
Republican r****t p*******e and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.
Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 p**********l campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.
Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.
Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.
Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.
Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.
Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.
Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.
Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.
Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.
Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.
Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.
Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.
Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.
Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.
Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.
Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his g*****ls to an 11 year old girl.
Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.
Republican e******n board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.
Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).
Republican anti-a******n activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.
Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.
Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.
Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.
Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.
Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency.
Republican serial k**ler Ted Bundy was hired by the Republican Party
Republican activist Matthew Glavin, who preached family values, was caught masturbating in public and fondling an undercover park ranger
Republican Party Chairman Sam Walls, who is married, was urged to drop his candidacy for Congress when it was found he likes to dress up in women's clothing
Republican Congressman Edward Schrock resigned from Congress after he was caught searching for sex on a gay telephone service
Republican Mayor Jim West Republican v**er Timothy McVeigh bombed Oklahoma City championed an anti-gay agenda, but was later found to be gay himself
Republican preacher Jimmy Swaggart preached fidelity, but c***ted on his wife with a prostitute
Republican Congressman Bob Livingston was about to v**e for impeaching President Clinton for sexual improprieties until it was disclosed he was an adulterer
Republican Congressman Henry Hyde denounced President Clinton's extramarital affair, but was later found to be an adulterer himself
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren,
has told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.
Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
Republican anti-a******n activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.
Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.
Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.
Republican anti-a******n activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an a******n doctor.
Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girl.
Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.
Republican r****t p*******e and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.
Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 p**********l campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.
Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.
Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.
Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.
Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.
Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.
Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.
Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.
Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly had sex with a 16 year old girl when he was 28.
Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.
Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.
Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.
Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.
Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.
Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his g*****ls to an 11 year old girl.
Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican e******n board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.
Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.

TommyRadd Loc: Midwest USA

[quote=PeterS]

The big difference is, conservative politicians are well aware that their “constituents” are appalled by their immorality, and so they don’t flaunt their perversions or make them into literal “planks” in their party. Liberals and “progressives” on the other hand seek to openly and unabashedly codify their perversions (more than two sexes), corruption (think H****r B***n), and infanticide (a******n up to birth no questions asked)… and vilify things like mean tweets instead as an ultimate evil.

You’ve obviously picked the side that most represents your own values.

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

[quote=PeterS]

Two things:
1. It often said Democrat/progressive/socialist have no sense of humor. You are the proof of that. Simple satire is beyond your abilities.
2. You must lead a terrible life that you would spend so much time gathering such information.

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

Please stop the hallucinogenics. You used the word values for a progressive. No such thing exists.

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

“ conservative politicians are well aware that their “constituents” are appalled by their immorality, ”

Was any Trump supporter appalled by Donny’s immorality?

Iliamna1

[quote=PeterS]

And if I were so inclined, I could come up with an equal or LONGER list for DEMOCRATS who have also displayed such jissues, including our curreny initrepid president and his son. So what's your point? Oh! and what aboiut Bath-house Barry? Or what about the extennsive list of unexpklained deaths, murders and suicides surroiunding the Clintons? Or even former poresident Clinktoiln's affairs and alkleged trips witih Epsstein? Be care beffor slinginkg mud. I also hoiave a very good memory of your calling all WHITE

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

But it is ok that Donny was friends with Epstein?
Trump in 2002
“I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy,” Trump told New York Magazine that year for a story headlined “Jeffrey Epstein: International Moneyman of Mystery.” “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”

Iliamna1

[quote=Iliamna1]And if I were so inclined, I could come up with an equal or LONGER list for DEMOCRATS who have also displayed such issues, including our current intrepid president and his son. So what's your point? Oh! and what about Bath-house Barry? Or what about the extensive list of unexplained deaths, murders and suicides surrounding the Clintons? Or even former president Clinton's affairs and alleged trips to Pedo Island with Epstein? Be care before slinging mud. I also have a very good memory of your calling all WHITE women whores (and I assure you, a few are, but most are NOT). I think what you write is a good sampling of the thoughts you have about the world as whole, much of what is not rooted in reality.

Iliamna1

Please note that 'Donny' had Epstein thrown out of Mara Lago after he made an inappropriate advance on some young woman, and never had anything to do with him after.

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

I have absolutely zero idea how you substituted my name for PeterS’s comment; however, will let it slide. Please learn how to use the system.

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

You had to work hard to find a twenty year old quote.

TommyRadd Loc: Midwest USA

But, but, but... don't you remember the talk about "negative values" in math class?

Just for the sake of some semblance of defense for myself, please consider these as being just "some" of the negative values I'm referring to (they obviously don't necessarily apply to every individual)...

"1But know this, that in the last days, grievous times will come. 2For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3without natural affection, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, no lovers of good, 4t*****rs, headstrong, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; 5holding a form of godliness, but having denied its power. Turn away from these, also." 2 Timothy 3:1-5

These are the kinds of things I'm referring to as "progressive's values", and they are quite negative values. Can you agree with that?

TommyRadd Loc: Midwest USA

Absolutely! But you missed the point entirely.

Marty 2020 Loc: Banana Republic of Kalifornia

I think those names are on Perry’s to do list.