New IPhone 13 Will Require V******tion To Unlock Screen
Sep 15, 2021 14:30:51 #
The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-iphone-will-require-v******tion-to-unlock-screen
CUPERTINO, CA—During the much-anticipated unveiling of the new iPhone 13 at this year's Apple Event, CEO Tim Cook revealed that the newest model and iOS will ask users to confirm v******tion status before unlocking the screen.
"We here at Apple are doing our part to keep you safe by keeping our sacred products out of the hands of the filthy unv******ted," said Cook as he paced the stage. "That's why starting with the iPhone 13, all Apple users will be required to scan their v******tion card in order to unlock their iPhones."
The crowd stood to their feet and cheered at the brilliant idea.
"I think it's a brilliant idea," said Apple fan Mavis Bimbasquelch as he walked out of the event. "If those stupid dumb anti-v**xers don't want to get v******ted, they can build their own computer company. Also, I hope they die."
Tim Cook confirmed he has software engineers and Chinese Uyghur s***es working overtime to ensure the "vax-verify" technology is ready for primetime.
"We vow to bar the unv******ted from connecting with the world," said Cook. "It's the moral thing to do."
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-iphone-will-require-v******tion-to-unlock-screen
CUPERTINO, CA—During the much-anticipated unveiling of the new iPhone 13 at this year's Apple Event, CEO Tim Cook revealed that the newest model and iOS will ask users to confirm v******tion status before unlocking the screen.
"We here at Apple are doing our part to keep you safe by keeping our sacred products out of the hands of the filthy unv******ted," said Cook as he paced the stage. "That's why starting with the iPhone 13, all Apple users will be required to scan their v******tion card in order to unlock their iPhones."
The crowd stood to their feet and cheered at the brilliant idea.
"I think it's a brilliant idea," said Apple fan Mavis Bimbasquelch as he walked out of the event. "If those stupid dumb anti-v**xers don't want to get v******ted, they can build their own computer company. Also, I hope they die."
Tim Cook confirmed he has software engineers and Chinese Uyghur s***es working overtime to ensure the "vax-verify" technology is ready for primetime.
"We vow to bar the unv******ted from connecting with the world," said Cook. "It's the moral thing to do."
Sep 15, 2021 14:48:59 #
Peewee
Loc: San Antonio, TX
Ginny_Dandy wrote:
The Babylon Bee br br https://babylonbee.com/news... (show quote)
Dang, just when I was about to give them all my personal data. Scumbags! Guess I'll wait until Common Law and common sense returns to our great nation. It's worth the wait!
Sep 15, 2021 14:56:46 #
FallenOak
Loc: St George Utah
Ginny_Dandy wrote:
The Babylon Bee br br https://babylonbee.com/news... (show quote)
Have all those workers at Apple taken SOMA pills?
Sep 15, 2021 15:07:43 #
Peewee wrote:
Dang, just when I was about to give them all my personal data. Scumbags! Guess I'll wait until Common Law and common sense returns to our great nation. It's worth the wait!
Good idea! Let's hope you don't have to wait too long.
Sep 15, 2021 15:09:18 #
FallenOak wrote:
Have all those workers at Apple taken SOMA pills?
Nah, I think they took Viagra pills and are still waiting for something to happen.
Sep 15, 2021 15:18:35 #
Ginny_Dandy wrote:
The Babylon Bee br br https://babylonbee.com/news... (show quote)
As far as I’m concerned they can store this stuff wherever it will fit.
Sep 15, 2021 15:52:15 #
Carol Kelly wrote:
As far as I’m concerned they can store this stuff wherever it will fit.
I was thinking the "round file" would be a perfect fit.
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