https://babylonbee.com/news/scientists-warn-that-in-the-next-decade-well-run-out-of-things-to-call-r****t

Scientists Warn That Within 6 Months Humanity Will Run Out Of Things To Call R****t
July 16th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com

ATLANTA, GA—Calling brand new things r****t—that no one would ever have thought could be r****t—is fun, and everyone loves it. But as each new day people breathlessly inform us of the r****t history of things like crossword puzzles and punctuality, scientists are warning of an impending catastrophe.

“At this current rate of coming up with new things that are r****t,” warned r****m scientist Frank Greene, “we’ll run out of new things to call r****t by the end of this year.”

Anti-r****m activists met this news with both fear and denial. “Running out of new things to call r****t would be devastating,” said activist Brooke Snyder. “I mean, you’ll only get attention if you come up with something no one knows is r****t. You can’t just say things like, ‘Ethnic slurs are r****t.’ Everyone knows that.”

Benny Malone, though, is one of those skeptical of the warning from scientists. “We’ll always be able to find new things that are r****t,” he said. “Just watch me.” He thought for a few moments. “Ah. I got a new one: Toothpaste is r****t.” His face then fell. “Wait, I have explained how that’s r****t already. Well, anyway, we can’t listen to science, because I know for certain we’ve all told everyone that science is r****t.”

Some proposed solutions to the impending problem include giving activists stringent limits on how many things per month they can declare r****t, but this has proven unpopular. Another idea is to instead come up with new things each day to call sexist, but no one cares about that as much.