Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife....(Satire from The Babylon Bee)
Jun 15, 2021 11:55:20 #
Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife....(Satire from The Babylon Bee)
Here at the Babylon Bee, we enjoy perfect marriages with our smokin' hot wives. We understand not everyone is perfect though-- sometimes you get into arguments with your wife. (Haha! Noob!)
To help you navigate these difficult talks, be sure to follow these expert arguing tips from the marriage experts at The Bee.
1. As soon as you start arguing, take off your shirt to distract her with your greek god body: She will immediately be overcome with desire and completely forget that she's mad at you.
2. Use cold, hard reason meticulously explained and re-explained: Using logic and reason in an argument with your wife will help her immediately understand how ridiculous she's being. Problem solved!
3. Ask her if she's on her period: Then just tell her lovingly that you know this is just because of the lady hormones and won't hold it against her
4. Helpfully suggest she calm down: Sometimes, wives forget to calm down. One helpful reminder and all tempers will dissipate! You're a genius!
5. Make an excel spreadsheet so you can follow the argument better: Sometimes, arguments with your wife will branch off into multiple unexpected paths at once. Keep track so you can address each issue, and check it off your list as you do!
6. Remind her that the thing she just said sounds like something her mother would say: Also remind her that your mother never talks to you like this.
7. Threaten to boycott mowing the lawn: She might try to mow the lawn herself, but she won't be able to pull that crank start thingy. She'll realize just how essential you are!
8. Bring in all the kids and ask them to v**e on who is right: This will also help you figure out which kids are on your side and which ones you need to keep an eye on.
There you have it! Enjoy many decades of a happy marriage!
https://babylonbee.com/news/how-to-fight-with-your-wife
I was married once for less than 2 years...I soon found out that marriage is just one of the many things I am not good at.
Here at the Babylon Bee, we enjoy perfect marriages with our smokin' hot wives. We understand not everyone is perfect though-- sometimes you get into arguments with your wife. (Haha! Noob!)
To help you navigate these difficult talks, be sure to follow these expert arguing tips from the marriage experts at The Bee.
1. As soon as you start arguing, take off your shirt to distract her with your greek god body: She will immediately be overcome with desire and completely forget that she's mad at you.
2. Use cold, hard reason meticulously explained and re-explained: Using logic and reason in an argument with your wife will help her immediately understand how ridiculous she's being. Problem solved!
3. Ask her if she's on her period: Then just tell her lovingly that you know this is just because of the lady hormones and won't hold it against her
4. Helpfully suggest she calm down: Sometimes, wives forget to calm down. One helpful reminder and all tempers will dissipate! You're a genius!
5. Make an excel spreadsheet so you can follow the argument better: Sometimes, arguments with your wife will branch off into multiple unexpected paths at once. Keep track so you can address each issue, and check it off your list as you do!
6. Remind her that the thing she just said sounds like something her mother would say: Also remind her that your mother never talks to you like this.
7. Threaten to boycott mowing the lawn: She might try to mow the lawn herself, but she won't be able to pull that crank start thingy. She'll realize just how essential you are!
8. Bring in all the kids and ask them to v**e on who is right: This will also help you figure out which kids are on your side and which ones you need to keep an eye on.
There you have it! Enjoy many decades of a happy marriage!
https://babylonbee.com/news/how-to-fight-with-your-wife
I was married once for less than 2 years...I soon found out that marriage is just one of the many things I am not good at.
Jun 15, 2021 12:34:51 #
Peewee
Loc: San Antonio, TX
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife...... (show quote)
Me neither, we have to share some DNA somewhere in our family tree. Science says Neanderthals were fully human now, so that's no longer a good excuse.
Jun 15, 2021 12:44:27 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife...... (show quote)
UPDATE: Doctors say that the guy who wrote this is expected to live but they doubt he will ever walk again.
Jun 15, 2021 12:58:06 #
skyrider wrote:
UPDATE: Doctors say that the guy who wrote this is expected to live but they doubt he will ever walk again.
I wish him well and I will have a shot or 2 of bourbon for him.
Jun 18, 2021 00:11:57 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife...... (show quote)
And his wife has received excellent gardening advice for resolving the argument.
Jun 18, 2021 00:21:45 #
AuntiE wrote:
And his wife has received excellent gardening advice for resolving the argument.
Good advice...endangered plants!!!
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