Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he h**es America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German f**g."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the N**is?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white f**g, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white f**g factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

Unfair and untrue! Such comments make the French blood in me run cold.

Iliamna1

With a few notable heroes during WW II, the French were a sorry lot. My great grandparents migrated here shortlk8y after WWI and I am 1/4 French. My father went to France during WWII. He never had much use for them either and never desired to return. He felt we got the Potsdam agreement backward. Poland should have been freed and let Stalin have France.

Kevyn

The only thing to add to this is that if it wasn’t for the help of the French we would still be subjects of the British crown.

Smedley_buzkill

The British did a pretty fair job of getting their own asses kicked right before Dunkirk. By the way, Dunkirk was successful in large part because 40,000 French soldiers from the French First Army fought a desperate delaying action against a larger, better armed German force and held them for three days.
There are plenty of brave and capable Frenchmen. Unfortunately, none of them seem to belong to their officer class.

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

All joking aside, I agree with you. There are despicable cowards in all races and nationalities, just as there are incredible heroes in all. And every variation between the two. However, ever since WWI ended, the French governments have repeatedly been less than courageous. It may have something to do with generational memories of the horror of WWI, since much of the horrific trench warfare took place on French soil.

rjoeholl

And you would be someone's mistress.

Big dog

The French, The French, are a very strange race. They fight with their feet and F¥€k with their face. 😱

F.D.R.

With such thin skin good thing your not Polish.

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

LOL ! I'm sure there's some Polish in here as well....seems to be pretty much everything else!