rumitoid

Looking back from the height of 74 years, I was enormously blessed and failed to notice that at the time. All that I was given and provided with was like air and gravity; a given. Yes, the regret I feel at not showing my appreciate enough to my parents, probably not even saying thank you for so many gifts, is wasted. They are both long gone. Yet I can be thankful to God today for their blessings. Something that I could not choose or arrange but by his hand.

After years of review, I feel compelled to pay tribute to my parents care and sacrifice. You do not need to comment or disgrace me for my neglect in my failure to recognize how good I had it, yet feel free to do so.

There was no Christmas List long enough to stymie my parents. They gave us every requested item and more. Always a beautiful tree and these great arrangements under the tree of a skating pond with figurines, a small town with lights on mounds of snow (cotton) with two skiers, and of course a wonderful Nativity scene. The siblings each made a dated decoration every year to hang. Easter was even worse. Enough chocolate and sugar for a diabetic coma for our neighborhood. Plus, our dad would "salt" the f**e grass with a few dollars of change and other surprises. Next was leg of lamb that night, roasted potatoes, and asparagus for dinner. Thanksgiving was all family. We would go to my dad's sister house for turkey and football, then next door to our cousin's house for ham. All of us blimps at the end of the day. Hard to fathom the incredible abundance. How did I not notice? I just enjoyed it.

Though the above paragraph should be enough, there is a lot more.

People who live in NYC are desperate to escape the heat and humidity of summer. Riding on a subway for hours to get to a beach. Driving to the Hamptons in snarled traffic jams for what feels like days. We had a cottage in Connecticut forty feet from a lake and a small sailboat for the entire summer. Not only that, our cottage was on the property of Camp Oakwood. We got three meals a day, water skiing, horseback riding, Square Dancing lessons once a week, a weekly wiener and marshmallow roast, all the facilities like tennis, ping-pong, basketball, horseshoes, and a trip to play miniature golf on Saturday. We had recreation teachers for arts and crafts every other day. And of course endless swimming in the cool Lake Pocotopaug.

Going to one of the best private schools is usually not on a list of preferred things by kids, yet there we were. 12 years of books, tests, homework, and strict discipline. Hooray...? But what I later learned when I went job hunting, just the fact that I attended was almost enough to hire me. Who knew? We also lived in an upper middle class neighborhood that was idyllic. Loads of other kids, activities, and organized sports. Oh, and very safe for living in the heart of the Bronx. Lots of grass and trees, even though we weren't supposed to walk on it...but frequently did. Then there were just the everyday things that for eighteen years of my existence were the most spectacular because it was everyday. Where do people find it in their heart to give so selflessly? Had I had more awareness back then my parents would have been gods rivaling Mount Olympus, with the added bonus of not being myths.

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

Heart warming, Rumi, and a very appropriate tribute to your parents and family. Thank you for posting it.

SWMBO

It sounds as if you had a childhood where what ever you wanted was provided, no struggles or hard work on your part, just two loving parents happy to provide everything you wanted, no questions asked and no demands of work from you to get all those things you wanted.

My brother and I grew up on a farm. Our father was a country vet back in the time when vets often got paid in chickens and vegetables and some cash when the farmers had it to give. If we wanted to eat, we had chores to do before breakfast, and when we got home from school. We learned early how to milk cows, how to hoe the vegetable garden, and that we were expected to share in the unpleasant work of farming, shoveling feces, k*****g and cleaning a chicken so we could cook and eat it. We learned how to revive a calf that looked dead when born, and that one of the facts of life was that sometimes a favorite pet , horse or goat had to be shot because its broken leg would not heal, or it was old and unable to eat and drink properly. We learned early that just because we wanted something special for our birthdays did not mean we were going to get it. Most of all, we learned that, because our parents loved us so much, they taught us early that life is a struggle and that just because we wanted it did not mean we were going to get it. As a child, I envied the few children that I knew who did not have to work for everything they got, that their parents would just give it to them when they said "I want it. Now I know that our parents give us the best gift they could-they taught us about hard work, earned rewards, and self respect, as well as the fact that God does not give us all we want but provides us with all we NEED.

rumitoid

Wow, I expected no comments and definitely not good ones. Thank you, very kind. My parents were great.

rumitoid

Beautiful, thank you. God gives us all we need, like our parents. Maybe you actually got better gifts. Maybe our lives expected ease and privilege as our due; I can recall sometimes in my life that problems or rejection were only bad because of unwarranted expectations. Yet I was put to work at 16, as were all my siblings. Working, as I remember, was natural. Even fun. In fifty years I was never out of work.

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

Youfr story, too, reflects great credit to loving and nurturing parents. Thank you for posting the tale.
It is good to remember that most of us are blessed in ways that vary as much as our parents do. There are a lot of bad parents, but by far the majority of them (including us!) love our children and do the best we can for them, according to our means and our own upbringing. All different, but with many similarities. As Mother's Day approaches, followed by Father's Day, it is good to remember how our parents blessed us. as best they could.

rumitoid

Very true. Of course we may not have liked a smack on the butt, chores, and time-outs. Yet that was just some of the everyday touches that delicately shaped our souls for living. You and I had really different upbringing, in a way, yet the Holy Spirit made it all perfectly work. Nice to get to know you.

RandyBrian Loc: Texas

Same here. And well do I remember those smacks! Most were simple reminders, but once every year or so I earned a really good whopping.
My middle four grandkids, two of each, and ranging from 13 down to 8, live 45 minutes from me, but only about a mile from each other. My wife and I are SO blessed that they live nearby! Once every week or two, I pick up all four and take them on some kind of field trip where they play and I buy them lunch and regale them with tales of what their moms (my daughters) did when they were the same ages. I also use part of the time to teach them a few wisdoms.
I explained to them a few weeks ago (one had gotten into some trouble) that part of a parent's job is to teach them to make good decisions, and the best way to do that is to show that bad choices leads to bad consequences. Hence punishments are not from meanness or anger(or shouldn't be), but is done out of love to help them remember the consequences of that particular poor judgment call. I hope that with understanding will come a little more patience with their parents. Talking to them about this, and other things related to raising kids, always triggers all kinds of memories from raising my three girls, and from my own childhood.
I find it to be very cathartic, usually pleasant, and highly enlightening, as my walks through memory lane usually makes me recognize the love my Mom and Dad were showing as they applied that nasty green peach switch!

WEBCO

So, why do are you trying/working for the destruction of a country that has given you, and your family so much?

You really need to reflect on that.