Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa

CDC Says V******ted People Can Now Punch Unv******ted People In The Face
April 5th, 2021 - (Satire from The Babylon Bee)

ATLANTA, GA—In a surprise announcement today, the CDC revised its guidelines on social distancing. V******ted people can now ignore social distancing if needed in order to punch an unv******ted person in the face.

"We highly encourage punching as many unv******ted people in the face as possible," said Dr. Nancy Messonnier. "We think this will be an effective tool for encouraging many more people to stop resisting the v******tion-- since our science indicates very few people enjoy being punched in the face."

The CDC confirms these new guidelines are "effective immediately," and will be in place until every unv******ted person has been sufficiently punched.

"If people are still resistant after the first dose of punching, we recommend a second dose-- and in some rare cases-- a third dose, right in the nose," said Messonnier.

The CDC walked back their statement just a few hours later, suggesting that people still try to keep their distance from unv******ted people by instead bonking them in the head with a long stick

https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-says-v******ted-people-can-now-punch-unv******ted-people-in-the-face

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

I better get a T printed that states front and back, V******ted, to avoid the long sticks

nonalien1 Loc: Mojave Desert

I know a guy that can forge you a v*****e passport. Cheap.

SWMBO

I have no intention of getting the unproven shots and have three Cane Corsos that will get in your way if you try to cause me harm and three 130 pound protection trained Mastiffs are more than you want to cope with.

Wonttakeitanymore

Where?

Wonttakeitanymore

And we have permission to smash them with a heavy purse! They will need a pain shot afterwords

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

Fortunately I live very far away from you. There is a sealed border between us unless you are here in Ontario.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

I prefer a shirt that reads "UNV******TED-Anyone is welcome to try and punch me in the face at their own risk." What fun it will be to lay out these cretins.

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

Hit them back 10x harder as Donny would do. No turning the other cheek in America

RascalRiley Loc: Somewhere south of Detroit

Not as much fun as you might have if you get it and develop brain fog six months later. You will not even be able to complete an OPP response then. But you took one for team Donny, the broke billionaire. Good for you

Michael10

I did all the right things, wore a mask, social distance no gatherings and some jerk came to work who was positive and I got it. Sick as a dog for a month, headache from the devil the whole time now my stamina is shot, short of breath and what the doctor called brain fog. Now I've had both shots and would suggest everyone get them, you do NOT want to get this v***s. Even if the shots make you sick for a day or two it's much better than the alternative.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

In other words, you are doing much better than Biden.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

Yeah, and I will still be smarter than you and Biden combined.

Michael10

Please, try and put together coherent sentences.

dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA

Ah Ha Ha! What a burn!

Check your computer for a faulty operator code "ID 10-T."