That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Jan 17, 2021 11:25:06 #
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Funny on today's C****a world
The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.” I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an i***t.
Errands are starting to count as going out.
C****acoaster noun: the ups and downs of a p******c. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.”
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Funny on today's C****a world
The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.” I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an i***t.
Errands are starting to count as going out.
C****acoaster noun: the ups and downs of a p******c. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.”
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Jan 17, 2021 11:58:54 #
eagleye13 wrote:
That is my story and I am sticking to it! br br F... (show quote)
Ha Ha, darn eagle,,,, these are really good,, gotta save and pass em on.. thanks for the chuckles..LOL..
Jan 17, 2021 12:50:40 #
I've been working so I can still get up from the floor and stuff for a while I didn't but I lost weight and I'm doing a a slow remodel in the house and I'm stronger that's funny
Jan 17, 2021 13:04:56 #
manning5
Loc: Richmond, VA
eagleye13 wrote:
That is my story and I am sticking to it! br br F... (show quote)
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I can relate to this post! Great!
I might add a few:
You know you are getting older when you spend a hell ova lot more time in the bathroom every day.
Why does everyone else look so young and active?
Lifting more than 15 pounds is a big strain all of a sudden.
Climbing ladders has to be left to those who can.
Walking suddenly requires a cane, or even a walker!
You belatedly realize that bedroom fun what what we did years ago.
The rest of your life is not the many years you once thought it to be.
All at once you are not embarrassed to show and tell the medical people anything at all.
You medicine cabinet now overflows with little bottles half full of some potion.
Now you know what laxatives ae for!
Even bending over is fraught with danger, and rugs are an obstacle course.
For once you are proud to tell your age...you made it to 90!
Religion seems to loom larger in your daily life.
Jan 18, 2021 21:47:52 #
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