Hmmm...
Jul 25, 2014 16:22:43 #
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile" because they did me. I'm curious as to which ones really stand out "for you." I had a hard time choosing.
1 - I'd k**l for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
1 - I'd k**l for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Jul 25, 2014 16:36:53 #
Searching wrote:
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile&q... (show quote)
How about.
I would give my left rm to be ambidextrous.
Jul 25, 2014 17:03:27 #
#32 definitely. I have had a lot of experience with one of those things. Enjoyed 'em all.
Jul 25, 2014 17:59:25 #
Searching wrote:
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile&q... (show quote)
Standouts for me:
6,7,8,9,11,14,19,23,24,29, and 34. In respect to #12, I don't think it can be calculated, as it is always there before light.
Jul 25, 2014 18:58:41 #
Searching wrote:
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile&q... (show quote)
Okay, I have not read them all...yet. Number 12 cracked me up. :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Jul 25, 2014 19:24:15 #
Searching wrote:
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile&q... (show quote)
:lol: :lol: Too many to mention!! #18 sticks out for me though. I like real butter (salt free now) and h**e when it won't spread!! :lol:
Years ago, (pre Mrs. B.) I came home and found my pretend girlfriend in bed with my imaginary friend. It was devastating!!!! Took me a long time to get over that one!! :lol: :lol:
Jul 25, 2014 22:18:59 #
I really liked reading ALL your responses. Below are mine, with a comment or two.
Soon, I need to go spend the night with a baby llama and his mama (baby seems to be confused over who his real mama is because they have ALL been fussing over him.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (Think that's called denial!!)
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? (Gotta be in negative form)
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. (Happens to me far more often than it should!!)
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
17 & 18 seem to go hand in hand in a perverse sort of way.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good. (Hey, hope springs eternal.)
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. (Reverse karma?)
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. (I can attest to this one.)
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. (Indeed, that and how hungry you are and can't understand why the process can't be speeded up.)
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. (That's a novel approach.)
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (No you don't -- I speak from personal experience!!)
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. (There is a perverse order to the universe, isn't there.)
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. (Funny how that works.)
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. (No, it isn't!!!)
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? (Not sure I'd want to see where I was going!! My mother used to refuse to take the "red eye" when she came to visit me in Hawaii -- said if the plane went down, she wanted to see what was in the water with her -- not me!!)
Y'all have an awesome evening, what's left of it. I have to find a long sleeved shirt to wear out in the dark so the mosquitoes won't be able to siphon off my blood if I should fall asleep out there with the llama mama "Delta Dawn" and her little boy who won't have a name for two weeks. Delta's daughter, Carrie Rose, has been being a good big sister to the little guy. Think I'll take some carrots out there with me and my trusty flashlight.
Soon, I need to go spend the night with a baby llama and his mama (baby seems to be confused over who his real mama is because they have ALL been fussing over him.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (Think that's called denial!!)
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? (Gotta be in negative form)
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. (Happens to me far more often than it should!!)
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
17 & 18 seem to go hand in hand in a perverse sort of way.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good. (Hey, hope springs eternal.)
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. (Reverse karma?)
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. (I can attest to this one.)
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. (Indeed, that and how hungry you are and can't understand why the process can't be speeded up.)
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. (That's a novel approach.)
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (No you don't -- I speak from personal experience!!)
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. (There is a perverse order to the universe, isn't there.)
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. (Funny how that works.)
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. (No, it isn't!!!)
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? (Not sure I'd want to see where I was going!! My mother used to refuse to take the "red eye" when she came to visit me in Hawaii -- said if the plane went down, she wanted to see what was in the water with her -- not me!!)
Y'all have an awesome evening, what's left of it. I have to find a long sleeved shirt to wear out in the dark so the mosquitoes won't be able to siphon off my blood if I should fall asleep out there with the llama mama "Delta Dawn" and her little boy who won't have a name for two weeks. Delta's daughter, Carrie Rose, has been being a good big sister to the little guy. Think I'll take some carrots out there with me and my trusty flashlight.
Jul 25, 2014 23:03:46 #
Searching wrote:
I really liked reading ALL your responses. Below ... (show quote)
You have a good evening too Searching!! Watch for spiderwebs!!!! :shock: :shock:
Jul 26, 2014 09:38:49 #
archie bunker wrote:
You have a good evening too Searching!! Watch for spiderwebs!!!! :shock: :shock:
:shock: I'm glad I didn't see your comment about spider webs until "after" I came back in around 2:30 or so!! I wasn't even thinking spiders. I was more worrying about whether the flashlight batteries were going to be adequate or not (really wouldn't want to accidentally step off into the pond in the middle of the night) and was thinking about those pesky mosquitoes and for that matter, the bats. However, since my encounter with a black widow spider two summers ago, I'm a little gun shy when it comes to spiders. ;) I still won't destroy spiders just because they're there. We need spiders, well maybe not black widow spiders.... :roll: Well, off to the market.
Jul 26, 2014 22:22:17 #
Searching wrote:
Hope this at least give you a "Friday smile&q... (show quote)
Maybe were having fun and we don't know it.
Jul 27, 2014 04:42:01 #
robby1 wrote:
Maybe were having fun and we don't know it.
Having fun??!!?? Yeah, I must confess, I am!!:lol:
Jul 27, 2014 09:22:27 #
Searching wrote:
Having fun??!!?? Yeah, I must confess, I am!!:lol:
That is about the best thing we can look forward to. I am 75 and I can see where life is fleeting. The years just seem to fly by. When you get to a certain age there are a lot of things that aren't to important anymore. The best thing you have to look forward to is going to the doctor and constipation.
Jul 27, 2014 10:08:32 #
robby1 wrote:
That is about the best thing we can look forward to. I am 75 and I can see where life is fleeting. The years just seem to fly by. When you get to a certain age there are a lot of things that aren't to important anymore. The best thing you have to look forward to is going to the doctor and constipation.
Well, I will be 67 on August 6 and I decided a few years ago that I was going to refuse to look at age as anything but a number, but yes, the years fly and your priorities change. However, I just can't seem to figure out if I never left my FIRST childhood or if I have renewed "my vows." :lol: As to that doctor thing....I don't believe in them. They seem to have a tendency to shorten your life as opposed to extending it. :roll: I want to have the "good times roll" for as long as I possibly can!!
Jul 27, 2014 12:10:12 #
Searching wrote:
Well, I will be 67 on August 6 and I decided a few... (show quote)
So do I. But age has a way of catching up with you wether you like it or not.
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