California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a statewide mandatory blindfolding policy
Jul 21, 2020 09:10:47 #
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a statewide mandatory blindfolding policy
https://www.veteranstoday.com/2020/07/20/blindfolds/
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a statewide mandatory blindfolding policy to help slow the spread of c****av***s. Noisome’s Executive Odor 666-666 requires all citizens to wear blindfolds as well as masks whenever they leave their homes, and revokes all health and religious exemptions from masking and blindfolding.
“Studies show that when you blink, your eyelashes scatter tiny droplets of moisture into the atmosphere, potentially contributing to the spread of C****-**,” Noisome explained at this morning’s press conference. “The best way to stop these moisture droplets is at the source, by wearing a cloth blindfold over your eyes. If all of us join together and blindfold ourselves, we can get through this thing together without ever seeing what’s really going on and without having to look at each other’s fear-stricken faces.”
Noisome said that mandatory blindfolding, like mandatory masking, not only slows the spread of C***D, but also offers economic benefits. “Cottage industries are already springing up, as enterprising Californians turn ordinary pieces of cloth into blindfolds and sell them on the internet,” the governor enthused. “And while it’s true that the Amazon delivery drivers will take longer than usual to deliver the blindfolds to your doorstep, since those drivers will themselves be blindfolded, the bright side is that Amazon will have to hire more drivers, which is good for the economy. Since paying all those blindfolded drivers will cost Amazon a pretty penny, we expect that Jeff Bezos will put billions of dollars into accelerating the development of self-driving vehicles, which will ultimately solve the whole C***D problem by making humans obsolete.”
Responding to civil libertarians’ concerns about heavy-handed enforcement of the masks-and-blindfolds policy, Noisome said police won’t be arresting or shooting scofflaws, at least not in large numbers, because the police themselves will be blindfolded. “We expect police shootings to go way down,” he explained. “And since the police won’t be able to see the skin color of the people they shoot at, nor aim with any precision, the disproportionate k*****gs of black people will finally end, fulfilling the demands of protestors and turning the page on a sorry episode in our history.”
Noisome said mandatory blindfolding would also obviate the need to remove statues of politically-incorrect historical figures. “If nobody can see the statues, why bother to smash or remove them?” he asked rhetorically. “It’s actually cheaper in the long run to blindfold the population instead of having to pay for statue removal.”
The governor added that if mandatory masks and blindfolds don’t stop the spread of C***D, he would consider issuing another executive order requiring people to wear earplugs to stop the v***s from riding into the body on soundwaves. He added in light of scientific studies showing that C***D can be spread by flatulence, the state might also have to require people to “put a cork in it.”
https://www.veteranstoday.com/2020/07/20/blindfolds/
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a statewide mandatory blindfolding policy to help slow the spread of c****av***s. Noisome’s Executive Odor 666-666 requires all citizens to wear blindfolds as well as masks whenever they leave their homes, and revokes all health and religious exemptions from masking and blindfolding.
“Studies show that when you blink, your eyelashes scatter tiny droplets of moisture into the atmosphere, potentially contributing to the spread of C****-**,” Noisome explained at this morning’s press conference. “The best way to stop these moisture droplets is at the source, by wearing a cloth blindfold over your eyes. If all of us join together and blindfold ourselves, we can get through this thing together without ever seeing what’s really going on and without having to look at each other’s fear-stricken faces.”
Noisome said that mandatory blindfolding, like mandatory masking, not only slows the spread of C***D, but also offers economic benefits. “Cottage industries are already springing up, as enterprising Californians turn ordinary pieces of cloth into blindfolds and sell them on the internet,” the governor enthused. “And while it’s true that the Amazon delivery drivers will take longer than usual to deliver the blindfolds to your doorstep, since those drivers will themselves be blindfolded, the bright side is that Amazon will have to hire more drivers, which is good for the economy. Since paying all those blindfolded drivers will cost Amazon a pretty penny, we expect that Jeff Bezos will put billions of dollars into accelerating the development of self-driving vehicles, which will ultimately solve the whole C***D problem by making humans obsolete.”
Responding to civil libertarians’ concerns about heavy-handed enforcement of the masks-and-blindfolds policy, Noisome said police won’t be arresting or shooting scofflaws, at least not in large numbers, because the police themselves will be blindfolded. “We expect police shootings to go way down,” he explained. “And since the police won’t be able to see the skin color of the people they shoot at, nor aim with any precision, the disproportionate k*****gs of black people will finally end, fulfilling the demands of protestors and turning the page on a sorry episode in our history.”
Noisome said mandatory blindfolding would also obviate the need to remove statues of politically-incorrect historical figures. “If nobody can see the statues, why bother to smash or remove them?” he asked rhetorically. “It’s actually cheaper in the long run to blindfold the population instead of having to pay for statue removal.”
The governor added that if mandatory masks and blindfolds don’t stop the spread of C***D, he would consider issuing another executive order requiring people to wear earplugs to stop the v***s from riding into the body on soundwaves. He added in light of scientific studies showing that C***D can be spread by flatulence, the state might also have to require people to “put a cork in it.”
Jul 21, 2020 09:16:18 #
These are the kind of ideas and solutions that only a Democrat could come up with.
Is AOC part of NewScum's brain trust?
Is AOC part of NewScum's brain trust?
Jul 21, 2020 09:42:52 #
eagleye13 wrote:
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a st... (show quote)
Lol. This is from the Onion, right? Great satire! Oops, this Mr Barrett actually wrote it? Good work!
Jul 21, 2020 10:35:26 #
eagleye13 wrote:
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a st... (show quote)
I've seen some leg-pulling, but this time it's a two-leg-pulling post...
Jul 21, 2020 10:50:28 #
Yes, this is satire. https://kevinbarrett.heresycentral.is/category/satire/
The VeteransToday website that had the article also had this item about Trump. https://www.veteranstoday.com/2020/07/21/caught-trump-flew-on-the-lolita-express-on-january-5-1997-during-the-pedo-parade/
The VeteransToday website that had the article also had this item about Trump. https://www.veteranstoday.com/2020/07/21/caught-trump-flew-on-the-lolita-express-on-january-5-1997-during-the-pedo-parade/
Jul 22, 2020 15:57:54 #
eagleye13 wrote:
California Governor Gavin Noisome has ordered a st... (show quote)
How do you see with a blindfold on?
Man, he's crazy.
Jul 23, 2020 02:18:31 #
Jul 23, 2020 02:19:01 #
Jul 23, 2020 03:06:17 #
Jul 23, 2020 11:01:08 #
Tug484 wrote:
Yeah, I finally saw where I t came from.
How will Californians survive Governor Gruesome's L*****t leadership, and the invasion from the South?
Jul 23, 2020 15:24:14 #
eagleye13 wrote:
How will Californians survive Governor Gruesome's L*****t leadership, and the invasion from the South?
It won't.
That's probably where the big one hits that we keep hearing about.
It's supposed to drop part of California in the ocean.
Jul 23, 2020 16:14:30 #
Tug484 wrote:
It won't.
That's probably where the big one hits that we keep hearing about.
It's supposed to drop part of California in the ocean.
That's probably where the big one hits that we keep hearing about.
It's supposed to drop part of California in the ocean.
I think God will be merciful with California.
Jul 23, 2020 17:08:13 #
eagleye13 wrote:
I think God will be merciful with California.
We can hope, but the ones in charge had better change their ways.
Jul 24, 2020 13:50:19 #
Tug484 wrote:
How do you see with a blindfold on?
Man, he's crazy.
Man, he's crazy.
Some are just led by the nose, and need to take the blind folds off.
These guys had it figured out;
https://youtu.be/z-sdO6pwVHQ
Jul 24, 2020 14:06:41 #
eagleye13 wrote:
Some are just led by the nose, and need to take the blind folds off.
These guys had it figured out;
https://youtu.be/z-sdO6pwVHQ
These guys had it figured out;
https://youtu.be/z-sdO6pwVHQ
You know a bunch of people like that wouldn't really surprise me.
Some people would put a ring in their nose like a bull to follow Obama or Hillary.
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