Do You Read?
May 20, 2020 09:01:42 #
Do You Read?
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be i*****l a***ns from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be i*****l a***ns from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
May 20, 2020 09:29:14 #
billy a
Loc: South Florida
A tip o' the hat to the imagination that put that list together. Great job!
May 20, 2020 09:53:45 #
May 20, 2020 10:45:40 #
Capt-jack wrote:
Do You Read? br br 1. The Wall Street Journal is ... (show quote)
You're not only accurate... You've got me thinking... A daily newspaper that has a comic section, a sports section, and a movie section... And nothing else... Well, maybe an ad or two...
May 21, 2020 15:41:45 #
JimMe wrote:
You're not only accurate... You've got me thinking... A daily newspaper that has a comic section, a sports section, and a movie section... And nothing else... Well, maybe an ad or two...
That used to be every newspaper.
May 21, 2020 17:00:51 #
Capt-jack wrote:
Do You Read? br br 1. The Wall Street Journal is ... (show quote)
GREAT POST!! I remember the 1983 Anne Murray song "A Little Good News Today"!
Lyrics:
I rolled out this morning
Kids had the mornin' news show on
Bryant Gumbel was talkin' 'bout the fighting in Lebanon
Some senator was squawkin' 'bout the bad economy
It's gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy
There's a local paper rolled up in a rubber band
One more sad story's one more than I can stand
Just once how I'd like to see the headline say
"Not much to print today, can't find nothin' bad to say", because
Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today
I'll come home this evenin'
I'll bet that the news will be the same
Somebody takes a hostage, somebody steals a plane
How I want to hear the anchor man talk about a county fair
And how we cleaned up the air, how everybody learned to care
Whoa, tell me
Nobody was assassinated in the whole Third World today
And in the streets of Ireland, all the children had to do was play
And everybody loves everybody in the good old USA
We sure could use a little good news today
Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today
Seems only the events have changed!!
May 23, 2020 08:29:01 #
May 28, 2020 23:09:37 #
Auntie Dee wrote:
GREAT POST!! I remember the 1983 Anne Murray song ... (show quote)
I've never heard of that song before. The only Anne Murray songs I remember are "You Needed Me" and "Snowbird."
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