Office Signs: At an optometrist's office..."If you don't see what you're looking for...you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window..."We really know our stuff." At a car...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't see what you're looking for...you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window..."We really know our stuff."

At a car dealership..."The best way to get back on your feet...miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop..."No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room..."Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company..."We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window...."Don't stand there and be hungry...come on in and get fed up."

At a propane filling station..."Thank heaven for little grills."

In the front yard of a funeral home..."Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a radiator shop..."Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of a septic tank truck..."Caution, this truck is full of political promises."

Bonuses:

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Tha, tha, tha, tha, that's all, folks! :mrgreen:

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

slatten49 wrote:

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't se... (show quote)

At the auto repair shop - " if we don't fix it right the first time, we'll keep trying "

At the Dr.'s office - " I don't have a pill for everything, unless you want one. "

In the office of an auto paint shop, right above a bottle of whiskey - " if it don't look right, drink this then look again "

At the gynecologist - " no returns "

At the gastroenterologist - " can't poop? Let me finger it out for you! "

Lawyers office - " hourly rates: price dependent on services rendered "

Brothel - " hourly rates: price dependent on services rendered "

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

slatten49 wrote:

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't se... (show quote)

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH This gives me a headache :XD: :XD: :XD: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Wolf counselor Loc: Heart of Texas

I've been jumping back and forth from topic to topic reading post after post and all I have accomplished is a rising blood pressure.

I have refrained from commenting on any of them because my own responses would surely raise the blood pressure even higher.

You've just provided the equivalent of a good dose of blood pressure medicine.

Thank you sir. I am now calm, collected and ready for a good nights sleep.

slatten49 wrote:

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't see what you're looking for...you've come to the right place."

Tha, tha, tha, tha, that's all, folks! :mrgreen:

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

Wolf counselor wrote:

I've been jumping back and forth from topic to topic reading post after post and all I have accomplished is a rising blood pressure.

I have refrained from commenting on any of them because my own responses would surely raise the blood pressure even higher.

You've just provided the equivalent of a good dose of blood pressure medicine.

Thank you sir. I am now calm, collected and ready for a good nights sleep.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Me too Good Night all.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Wolf counselor wrote:

I've been jumping back and forth from topic to topic reading post after post and all I have accomplished is a rising blood pressure.

I have refrained from commenting on any of them because my own responses would surely raise the blood pressure even higher.

You've just provided the equivalent of a good dose of blood pressure medicine.

Thank you sir. I am now calm, collected and ready for a good nights sleep.

You're welcome. It is my pleasure to return some peace and tranquility to your day. You have done much the same for me with your thread and posts covering your journey. Tit for tat! :thumbup:

archie bunker Loc: Texas

I see signs from my office every day that say: "Guardrail damage ahead." I always think "Well Dang it!" I guess I'll have to wait for the next one to wreck!!

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

archie bunker wrote:

I see signs from my office every day that say: "Guardrail damage ahead." I always think "Well Dang it!" I guess I'll have to wait for the next one to wreck!!

Me thinks thou dost looketh for excuses to avoid brain breaking endeavors :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

W8_4_It

I h**e the sign that says "Open 24 hours" and you see the guy out front locking up.

When you ask about it they always say "Yeah we are open 24 hours, just not all at once".

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

W8_4_It wrote:

I h**e the sign that says "Open 24 hours" and you see the guy out front locking up.

When you ask about it they always say "Yeah we are open 24 hours, just not all at once".

:wink: :thumbup: :lol:

robby1

slatten49 wrote:

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't se... (show quote)

Hear about the woman who didn't change her babies diaper for a month. It said on the box, hold up to twenty five pounds.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

robby1 wrote:

Hear about the woman who didn't change her babies diaper for a month. It said on the box, hold up to twenty five pounds.

Now, that is reading comprehension! :thumbup:

Would you be offended if I said you were full up? :lol:

archie bunker Loc: Texas

robby1 wrote:

Hear about the woman who didn't change her babies diaper for a month. It said on the box, hold up to twenty five pounds.

Being married to a blonde I can say this!! I think I just made up my own blonde joke!!
Here we go!! My wife was making supper one evening, she read the instructions on the box. Next thing I know, she is gone!! I went outside and found her in the wellhouse looking perplexed. I asked what she was doing. She said the box said add 2 cups of water and shake well.
Lame??

rhomin57 Loc: Far Northern CA.

I saw this above a Personnel Directors doorway one time:

(I had to remake it on my paint app as I couldn't find another like the one I saw)

rumitoid

slatten49 wrote:

At an optometrist's office..."If you don't se... (show quote)

Really great stuff! Thank you. Have one for you, some graffiti on a bathroom stall: "Dyslexics untie!"