a bear in the woods..
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
permafrost wrote:
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of ... (
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That is truly the fattest bear I've ever seen ! ! ! Just give him a few months of hibernation. Great joke.
Iliamna1 wrote:
That is truly the fattest bear I've ever seen ! ! ! Just give him a few months of hibernation. Great joke.
Looks like that bear met up with more than a few atheists.
permafrost wrote:
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of ... (
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And then what happened ? After the Atheist was converted to bear excrement, was he deposited in the woods.
permafrost wrote:
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of ... (
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Too funny Perm! Thanks for the laugh!!
permafrost wrote:
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of ... (
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I immediately sent this off to my sister, whose kids (and grandkids) are avid h****rs and devout Christians too. I hope it makes them laugh as much as it did me!
permafrost wrote:
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of a buddy in Wyoming, or Montana or wherever he maybe today
The Atheist and The Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
Can not help but laugh at this one.. Courtesy of ... (
show quote)
Lolololhahahaha that was HILARIOUS
son of witless wrote:
And then what happened ? After the Atheist was converted to bear excrement, was he deposited in the woods.
Then he was recycled by the dung beetles, all of which gave him a great funeral with multiple deep burials and after several decades later, the atheist reappeared as part of a small forest, all of which was cut down about a century later by a Christian-owned logging company and turned into furniture and houses. But the atheist was blissfully unaware of his new beginnings forever after.
Iliamna1 wrote:
Then he was recycled by the dung beetles, all of which gave him a great funeral with multiple deep burials and after several decades later, the atheist reappeared as part of a small forest, all of which was cut down about a century later by a Christian-owned logging company and turned into furniture and houses. But the atheist was blissfully unaware of his new beginnings forever after.
And all because he got himself eaten by a bear. I sure love happy endings. Left out of the story, was that once a bear eats a human, an Atheist qualifies, I know I know bearly, the bear is always tracked down and destroyed. Fortunately the bear was skinned and made into a rug. It now decorates the den of an unknown Agnostic, who couldn't care less what the bear's last meal was.
son of witless wrote:
And then what happened ? After the Atheist was converted to bear excrement, was he deposited in the woods.
LOL, we can only hope he did not bring it to town...
I do remember that incident. It should be noted that moose annually k**l and injure more people in Alaska than bears, though. Moose are thoroughly grouchy animals.
Iliamna1 wrote:
I do remember that incident. It should be noted that moose annually k**l and injure more people in Alaska than bears, though. Moose are thoroughly grouchy animals.
Very true, however being eaten besides being k**led is insult to injury. A starving moose will not eat you.
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