How will you spend your C****-** stimulus check? Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an economic stimulus payment; here are some facts to ponder: Q: What is an Economic...

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How will you spend your C****-** stimulus check?

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Apr 9, 2020 20:41:16 #

Auntie Dee

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an economic stimulus payment; here are some facts to ponder:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: Isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

How to help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in the USA by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, thrift shop, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, local theater, or
(3) Going out to a Restaurant, or
(4) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(5) Beer, or
(6) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating here!)

Cribbed this from another forum but made me chuckle!

Apr 9, 2020 20:49:36 #

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Auntie Dee wrote:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an e... (show quote)

I would go to a yard sale or two to spend my money then give the things I purchases to the Salvation Army. Personally, I have way too many clothes I haven't worn, and a lot of books I have not yet read, don't need
anything more that I have to dust, wash or put away.

SWMBO

Apr 9, 2020 21:09:46 #

JFlorio Loc: Seminole Florida

Loved it. Already told my wife we will put the check aside and use the money at restaurants so we can tip the help around 50% so they can get back to paying their bills.

Auntie Dee wrote:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an e... (show quote)

Apr 9, 2020 21:15:41 #

Blade_Runner Loc: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

Auntie Dee wrote:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an e... (show quote)

Way things are going, might have to use the check to start a campfire.

Apr 9, 2020 21:16:20 #

JFlorio Loc: Seminole Florida

Blade_Runner wrote:

Way things are going, might have to use the check to start a campfire.

Well, they are printing plenty of fuel.

Apr 9, 2020 22:30:09 #

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

Auntie Dee wrote:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an e... (show quote)

I think I 'll spend it on a Chiropractor-- I hurt.

Apr 9, 2020 22:31:11 #

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

JFlorio wrote:

Loved it. Already told my wife we will put the check aside and use the money at restaurants so we can tip the help around 50% so they can get back to paying their bills.