Rose42

WORLD—Terrorists and other enemies of America, including China, North Korea, and California, all agreed to lay down their arms as Jack Wilson was deployed abroad.

After Wilson, the hero of the recent Texas church shooting, was named the leader of America's military operations abroad, terrorists immediately surrendered, knowing they had very little chance. Wilson was airdropped in behind enemy lines but didn't need to fire a single shot.

"We agree to an unconditional surrender, under wh**ever terms Mr. Wilson sees fit," said one ISIS leader nervously after turning himself into a grizzled Wilson, brandishing his SIG P229-357 SIG. "Please do not hurt us." Wilson then moved his hand, and hundreds of surrendering terrorists hit the deck, scrambling for cover. But he was just reaching for a breath mint, and they all breathed a sigh of relief.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un likewise gave up his nuclear program and immediately resigned, agreeing to turn the country into a true democratic republic right away and apologizing for decades of civil rights abuses. "No need to send Mr. Wilson over here," he said, sweating. "We are complying with all of America's demands."

Wilson accepted their surrender, provided they repent, believe the gospel, and are baptized.

https://babylonbee.com/news/thousands-of-panicked-terrorists-surrender-as-trump-deploys-jack-wilson-to-middle-east

EmilyD

LOL! Love babylon bee!!

Wilson for President 2024!!!

working class stiff Loc: N. Carolina

LOL....though I am surprised that Californians had any arms to lay down. Aren't they gun hating liberals? Not surprising though, as they are a sneaky bunch and all had 'personal' stashes.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Cute post, Rose.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

That wuss Chuck Norris couldn't get it done,so they sent Jack.

Rose42

Well....can Jack do this -

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA

Rose42

Rose42

My favorite satire site.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

It, along with The Borowitz Report, are mine.

Giuliani Kidnapped by Ukrainian Circus

By Andy Borowitz, December 10, 2019

KYIV (The Borowitz Report)—While on a mission to Ukraine to acquire information about the business dealings of H****r B***n, Rudy Giuliani was kidnapped by a travelling Ukrainian circus, Giuliani confirmed on Tuesday.

“It was the strangest thing,” he told reporters. “I was on a street corner talking to some people about the Bidens, and these guys came up to me and said, ‘Come with us.’ I thought they were taking me to a cable-news studio.”

Where they were taking him, it turned out, was the Krychevsky Wonder Show, a popular family-owned circus that has been travelling around Ukraine since 1873.

“We saw this guy acting entirely bizarre, and we decided we had to have him in our circus,” Oleh Krychevsky, its current proprietor, said. “It’s hard to find a sideshow attraction with that much potential.”

For two days, Giuliani filled a giant tent at Krychevsky’s, regaling audiences with tales of CrowdStrike, Burisma, and a person named Alexandra Chalupa. But soon his relationship with the circus soured.

“Even after the crowds went home, and we were all ready for bed, he wouldn’t stop talking,” Krychevsky, who ultimately fired Giuliani from the circus, said. “He is exhausting.”

Only after Giuliani’s tenure with the circus was over did Krychevsky learn the man’s true identity. “I was told he was the former mayor of New York,” he said. “I still find that impossible to believe.”

archie bunker Loc: Texas

Lol!! Awesome Rose!!

waltmoreno

HAH! Thanks for the laffs!

Rose42

I don’t think he’s as consistently good but he does put out some really good ones.

Wonttakeitanymore

Not all Californians are long liberal!!!!!

Lt. Rob Polans ret.

They have a m*****a. Sneaky? Isn't John Brennan always sneaky?

debeda