Andy Rooney said this about women over 60: "As I grow in age, I value women over 60 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 60 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 60 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 60 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you...if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 60.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 60 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk of if you are actng like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 60 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. Ladies, I apologize."

Andy Rooney was a really smart guy!

And, an ADDENDUM for the 'rest of us' over 60.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore...under 'fiction'.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you'll have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60+year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem...retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternon.
Q: Where should 60+year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens?
A: Nudity.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+year olds entering antique stores?
A: Gosh, I remember these!

Why are older people more lonely? Because they call people and nobody wants to talk, they want to text. You know you're old when you see lots of crazy people talking to themselves, not realizing they have blue tooth. You know you're old when you go to purchase something and are told " we don't take cash" and you have to put the item down and leave.

I just bought a new car and almost wrecked it on the way home from the dealer. I was playing around with the buttons on the steering wheel when a ghostly voice said " please say a command". I almost ran off the road because it scared the s*^t out of me. The car then said " I did not understand your command, please say again". Apparently " what the f*$k was that!" was not one of it's recognized commands.

Andy Rooney said this about women over 60: "As I grow in age, I value women over 60 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 60 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 60 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 60 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you...if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 60.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 60 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk of if you are actng like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 60 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. Ladies, I apologize."

Andy Rooney was a really smart guy!

And, an ADDENDUM for the 'rest of us' over 60.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore...under 'fiction'.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you'll have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60+year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem...retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternon.
Q: Where should 60+year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens?
A: Nudity.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+year olds entering antique stores?
A: Gosh, I remember these!