Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of g****l w*****g
Nov 29, 2019 18:34:01 #
Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of g****l w*****g
Babylon Bee ~ November 26th, 2018
GRANTS PASS, OR—Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of g****l w*****g: local kid Oliver Paulson, who left the front door wide open dozens of times while the heater was on this past weekend.
Every time the boy runs inside from playing, he leaves the front door open, and it looks like we're all going to pay the price from his carelessness.
"Are we heating the whole neighborhood!?" his father bellowed Saturday afternoon after Paulson dashed inside. Little did his dad know that they were actually heating not only the whole neighborhood, but also the entire world. "Someone around here must have stock in the gas company!" he added, but to no avail. The damage had been done.
Climate scientists estimate the globe will be in turmoil within a few short years, all because little Oliver was apparently "born in a barn."
Experts warned that it may be too late to reverse the damage, but suggested that kids "close the dang door" anyway just in case we can all still be saved from our fiery fate.
Babylon Bee ~ November 26th, 2018
GRANTS PASS, OR—Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of g****l w*****g: local kid Oliver Paulson, who left the front door wide open dozens of times while the heater was on this past weekend.
Every time the boy runs inside from playing, he leaves the front door open, and it looks like we're all going to pay the price from his carelessness.
"Are we heating the whole neighborhood!?" his father bellowed Saturday afternoon after Paulson dashed inside. Little did his dad know that they were actually heating not only the whole neighborhood, but also the entire world. "Someone around here must have stock in the gas company!" he added, but to no avail. The damage had been done.
Climate scientists estimate the globe will be in turmoil within a few short years, all because little Oliver was apparently "born in a barn."
Experts warned that it may be too late to reverse the damage, but suggested that kids "close the dang door" anyway just in case we can all still be saved from our fiery fate.
Nov 29, 2019 19:07:14 #
Nov 29, 2019 19:16:29 #
Parky60 wrote:
b Scientists have finally discovered the primary ... (show quote)
Breaking research indicates that the use of air conditioners may be a major culprit in g****l w*****g.
Air conditioning units in the worlds mega cities emit trillions of BTUs of heat into the atmosphere daily.
Such "hot spots" are now suspected of causing extreme atmospheric turbulence, linked to changes in
global climatic conditions and events.
Nov 29, 2019 19:58:37 #
Nov 29, 2019 20:11:50 #
Gatsby wrote:
Breaking research indicates that the use of air co... (show quote)
Lets just cut power to all major metropolitan areas during peak usage times.
That would probably help more than all their i***tic schemes combined.
Nov 29, 2019 20:19:25 #
Nov 29, 2019 20:20:11 #
BigMike wrote:
Lets just cut power to all major metropolitan areas during peak usage times.
That would probably help more than all their i***tic schemes combined.
That would probably help more than all their i***tic schemes combined.
I like this idea!!!
Nov 29, 2019 20:30:03 #
Mike Easterday wrote:
I like this idea!!!
It's easy. Don't take no gee-nee-us to figger out.
Nov 30, 2019 06:31:19 #
I suggest we install a dome over DC, that should greatly reduce the release of hot air into the atmosphere.
Nov 30, 2019 07:45:47 #
F.D.R. wrote:
I suggest we install a dome over DC, that should greatly reduce the release of hot air into the atmosphere.
It would definitely lower the levels of chickens**t.
Nov 30, 2019 07:46:35 #
BigMike wrote:
Lets just cut power to all major metropolitan areas during peak usage times.
That would probably help more than all their i***tic schemes combined.
That would probably help more than all their i***tic schemes combined.
Why only peak usage times?
Nov 30, 2019 10:29:50 #
Gatsby wrote:
Breaking research indicates that the use of air co... (show quote)
OK. Shame on those nasty air conditioners. Where do they get all that heat? Time to remember the rule. Energy can neither created or destroyed.
Air conditioners just take heat from one place and discharge it somewhere else. The 'trillions of BTUs' exist in the 'mega cities' regardless of air conditioner's action. Something else for the 'experts' to snivel about without a particle of engineering or physical knowledge to back it up.
Nov 30, 2019 11:36:16 #
Parky60 wrote:
b Scientists have finally discovered the primary ... (show quote)
Amen and Amen thanks for the laughs.
Nov 30, 2019 11:42:41 #
F.D.R. wrote:
I suggest we install a dome over DC, that should greatly reduce the release of hot air into the atmosphere.
And roast alive the creatures that dwell there...
Nov 30, 2019 11:44:53 #
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