slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

This is what Mike Royko (1932 - 1997) of the Chicago Tribune, had to say about Veterans Day in 1993.

I'll be at work tomorrow talking and interacting with characters straight out of 'Office Space'. I might have a scotch later that night, but, more than likely, it'll be a "normal" day. I'll probably forget that it's a federal holiday and, out of habit, check the mailbox when I get home. I'll see that it's empty because the postal carriers have the day off. Then, I'll get ticked. Happens every year.

I just phoned six friends and asked them what they will be doing on Monday.

They all said the same thing: working.

Me, too.

There is something else we share. We are all military Veterans.

And there is a third thing we have in common. We are not employees of the federal government, state government, county government, municipal government, the Postal Service, the courts, banks, or S & Ls, and we don't teach school.

If we did, we would be among the many millions of people who will spend Monday goofing off.

Which is why it is about time Congress revised the ridiculous terms of Veterans Day as a national holiday.

The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor all Veterans.

So how does this country honor them?

By letting the Veterans, the majority of whom work in the private sector, spend the day at their jobs so they can pay taxes that permit millions of non-Veterans to get paid for doing nothing.

As my friend Harry put it:

"First I went through basic training. Then infantry school. Then I got on a crowded, stinking troop ship that took 23 days to get from San Francisco to Japan. We went through a storm that had 90 percent of the guys on the ship throwing up for a week.

"Then I rode a beat-up t***sport plane from Japan to Korea, and it almost went down in the drink. I think the pilot was drunk.

"When I got to Korea, I was lucky. The war ended seven months after I got there, and I didn't k**l anybody and nobody k**led me.

"But it was still a miserable experience. Then when my tour was over, I got on another troop ship and it took 21 stinking days to cross the Pacific.

"When I got home on leave, one of the older guys at the neighborhood bar was a World War II Vet and told me I was a ----head because we didn't win, we only got a tie."

"So now on Veterans Day I get up in the morning and go down to the office and work."

"You know what my nephew does? He sleeps in. That's because he works for the state."

"And do you know what he did during the Vietnam War? He ducked the draft by getting a job teaching at an inner-city school."

"Now, is that a raw deal or what?"

Of course that's a raw deal. So I propose that the members of Congress revise Veteran's Day to provide the following:

- All Veterans and only Veterans should have the day off from work. It doesn't matter if they were combat heroes or stateside clerk-typists.

Anybody who went through basic training and was awakened before dawn by a red-neck drill sergeant who bellowed: "Drop your whats'is and grab your socks and fall out on the road," is entitled.

- Those Veterans who wish to march in parades, make speeches or listen to speeches can do so. But for those who don't, all local gambling laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to enlisted men's club prices, officers can pay the going rate, the stiffs.

- All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct, non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and d********g public behavior that does not harm another individual.

- It will be a treasonable offense for any spouse or live-in girlfriend (or boyfriend, if it applies) to utter the dreaded words: "What time will you be home tonight?"

- Anyone caught posing as a Veteran will be required to eat a triple portion of chipped beef on toast, with Spam on the side (I, slatten49, personally recommend 'ham & mothers'), and spend the day watching a chaplain present a color-slide presentation on the horrors of VD.

- Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the opportunity to serve in the military, but didn't, will be allowed to make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his office for the entire day.

Any politician who defies this ban will be required to spend 12 hours wearing headphones and listening to tapes of President Clinton explaining his deferments.

Now, deal the cards and pass the tequila.

Hug

Great Post!

archie bunker Loc: Texas

It might surprise you to know that I work for the Postal Service, and will be working on that day. Not delivering letters, checks, bills, and junk mail, but packages for Amazon, and the people too lazy to go to a store.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Well, having being retired for several years, I am able to enjoy Veteran's Day, Memorial Day and other holidays that my career in sales did not allow. And oh, btw...I feel your pain, Arch.

But hey, that's why they pay you the big bucks

archie bunker Loc: Texas

You're right about the pay. It ain't bad, and I'm not ashamed to drop a box on top of a Fed-Ex box on top of a UPS box on a porch for that money!
If America wants convienance, and doesn't want to go to Wal-Mart in their jammies, or yoga pants, I'll take their money!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Capitalist

archie bunker Loc: Texas

You're durn skippy!!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

At my age, Arch, I don't do a lot of skipping. I just kind'a mosey along.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Putting up f**gs and wreathes on Veteran's day seems to me to be hokum. Those who've laid down their lives for their fellows and the country aren't Veteran's - they're still serving on active duty. Those of us who are veterans are Veterans 24/7/365 and don't clamor for attention, but it would be nice if, just for one day in the year, the people who take their lifestyles and freedoms for granted, would acknowledge - that if it weren't for us, their lives would be a whole lot less pleasant....................such as no day off for Veterans day.

Blade_Runner Loc: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

There is no reason why those who have to work on General George S. Patton's birthday cannot do something to honor our veterans.

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918, the signing of an armistice (temporary cessation of hostilities) at Le Francport near Compiègne, France ended the First World War. The signators represented France, England and Germany. No Americans were present.

Eight months later, on June 28, 1919, the Treaty of Versailles was signed by Georges Clémenceau for France, Woodrow Wilson for the USA, David Lloyd George for Great Britain, Vittorio Orlando for Italy, and Hermann Müller the Minister of Foreign Affairs - as well as the jurist Doctor Bell - from Germany. This treaty officially brought the war to a close. However, it was not implemented until January 19, 1920.

In 1926, Congress passed a resolution for an annual observance, and Nov. 11 became a national holiday known as Armistice Day. It went into effect beginning in 1938. In 1954, President Eisenhower officially changed the name of the holiday from Armistice Day to Veterans Day.

I have good reason to celebrate - November 10th is the birthday of the US Marines, November 11th is General Patton's birthday, and November 12th is my birthday. Looks like a three day party.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Oooorahhhh & Happy Birthday, Blade Party hearty.

I will be hosting our annual Slatten Brothers' USMC Birthday/Veteran's Day Reunion this weekend. There will be other Veterans and Family joining us.

Also......https://www.onepoliticalplaza.com/t-169184-1.html#3042397

Blade_Runner Loc: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

badbobby Loc: texas

don't overeat

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

As always, BB, I will take your sagacious advice to heart.

greenmountaineer Loc: Vermont

I love it. When I was a kid, we used to call it "Armistice Day."