https://babylonbee.com/news/lioness-that-k**led-ate-own-cubs-offered-job-as-planned-parenthood-mascot

Lioness Who K**led, Ate Own Cubs Hired As Planned Parenthood Mascot
August 12th, 2019 Satire

LEIPZIG—Kigali the lioness has been hailed as a women's rights advocate after she k**led and ate her own cubs.

Planned Parenthood immediately jumped at the opportunity to leverage Kigali's popularity, offering her a job as the organization's mascot.
Kigali will appear in ads encouraging women to have as many a******ns as they want and be available to counsel young ladies thinking about getting a******ns.

"Imagine how inconvenient those two cubs would be if I'd kept them around---ugh," she said in a speech in front of Planned Parenthood's New York offices, with a lion from a local American zoo t***slating from her native German. "I'm now free to center my life around myself, having k**led those two little unwelcome l***hes."

She made it clear that the two cubs she k**led weren't actually lions, per se, but just "clumps of cells" since she hadn't subjectively decided they were living beings yet. "As soon as I decided to terminate them, they became nothing more than parasites."

The lioness said she plans on sleeping around with other lions and k*****g and eating some more cubs, should she get pregnant. "My cubs, my choice."

https://babylonbee.com/news/lioness-that-k**led-ate-own-cubs-offered-job-as-planned-parenthood-mascot

Lioness Who K**led, Ate Own Cubs Hired As Planned Parenthood Mascot
August 12th, 2019 Satire

LEIPZIG—Kigali the lioness has been hailed as a women's rights advocate after she k**led and ate her own cubs.

Planned Parenthood immediately jumped at the opportunity to leverage Kigali's popularity, offering her a job as the organization's mascot.
Kigali will appear in ads encouraging women to have as many a******ns as they want and be available to counsel young ladies thinking about getting a******ns.

"Imagine how inconvenient those two cubs would be if I'd kept them around---ugh," she said in a speech in front of Planned Parenthood's New York offices, with a lion from a local American zoo t***slating from her native German. "I'm now free to center my life around myself, having k**led those two little unwelcome l***hes."

She made it clear that the two cubs she k**led weren't actually lions, per se, but just "clumps of cells" since she hadn't subjectively decided they were living beings yet. "As soon as I decided to terminate them, they became nothing more than parasites."

The lioness said she plans on sleeping around with other lions and k*****g and eating some more cubs, should she get pregnant. "My cubs, my choice."

https://babylonbee.com/news/lioness-that-k**led-ate-own-cubs-offered-job-as-planned-parenthood-mascot

Lioness Who K**led, Ate Own Cubs Hired As Planned Parenthood Mascot
August 12th, 2019 Satire

LEIPZIG—Kigali the lioness has been hailed as a women's rights advocate after she k**led and ate her own cubs.

Planned Parenthood immediately jumped at the opportunity to leverage Kigali's popularity, offering her a job as the organization's mascot.
Kigali will appear in ads encouraging women to have as many a******ns as they want and be available to counsel young ladies thinking about getting a******ns.

"Imagine how inconvenient those two cubs would be if I'd kept them around---ugh," she said in a speech in front of Planned Parenthood's New York offices, with a lion from a local American zoo t***slating from her native German. "I'm now free to center my life around myself, having k**led those two little unwelcome l***hes."

She made it clear that the two cubs she k**led weren't actually lions, per se, but just "clumps of cells" since she hadn't subjectively decided they were living beings yet. "As soon as I decided to terminate them, they became nothing more than parasites."

The lioness said she plans on sleeping around with other lions and k*****g and eating some more cubs, should she get pregnant. "My cubs, my choice."