buddy42 Loc: Bonita Springs, Fl

Your lesson for today.


HISTORY LESSON For those that don't know about history, here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic h****rs/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and k*****g animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement....

Other men who were weaker and less sk**led at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQs and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic v****g to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.


Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game h****rs, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little. They prefer to govern the producers.... and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get something for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute t***h of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....I'm going to have another beer.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Well, it is good to see you stayed away from stereotypes! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

buddy42 Loc: Bonita Springs, Fl

I received it as an e-mail and believe or not, I really thought it was going to be something new about beer.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Any beer drinker I know would tell you the only 'new' beer they want is one to replace the old beer they already drank. :thumbup:

rodulfo-tardo

One thing you have overlooked is how Conservatives prefer the opposite sex, although as in every social structure there are those who go stray, as far as beer it is a t***h, Liberals could not be able to differentiate imported or domestic beers, once they smoked their weed, they will mix anything drinkable within reach, then swallow sleeping pills and start up their Mercedes or Beemers and k**l some trees, their lives revolve around social-minutia that redefines any disturbing facts.
It is their choice to see the bad without any reality check, a religiosity of diverse tolerance will suddenly stop once they become victims to muggins or any crime they claim are harmless, they will pay top price for an automatic military weapon, k*****g everything but their targeted quarry.
Revolvers would be an unacceptable alternative, it takes concentration and knowledge to hit a target; five or six rounds are not sufficient but the 30 round mag now looks promising, Conservatives will calculate collateral damages but Liberals will consider these a normal procedure.
"vice resident" suggested shotguns to fire in the air and scare the 'perp' two or five 12 gauge seem inadequate but that 25 round assault shotgun has very appealing qualities, that BBQ narrative would have no connection to Liberals who gather to smoke their medical enhancements, once the gatherings are finalized they order takeout of some fantastic totals, while tipping the illegal who they promote a minimal gratuity, they are after all those who take the jobs Americans 'wont' charity and responsibility can be redefined after all it is not cheap to smoke that medical weed and pay the dealer at the same time you are trying to find your mouth.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:shock: Quite the rambling narrative. Medical weed?

rodulfo-tardo

That will be their story and stick to it, just like the gun under their seat, "no idea how it got here" get the picture? Its all in the redefined legal aspects of Liberals and their concept of right and wrong.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:lol: No, it's mostly in your mind. :wink:

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

Do stereo-typers use surround sound?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

That's an interesting question...probably so. :-D

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

I always go to the man :!: :!: :!: :!: :idea: :idea: :idea:

AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

Without being unkind, you do realize this is the Chit Chat Section. We normally try to remain non-political and participate in frivolity. Based upon the foregoing sentence...be gone!