Pelosi jokes
Jun 9, 2019 09:57:36 #
Pelosi jokes
An associate of Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream the other night
There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went past. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.
Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair OK?"
Her friend said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed.
Nancy Pelosi and her driver were cruising along an Iowa country road one evening when an old dairy cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't.
The aged cow was struck and k**led. Nancy told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow.
She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you," asked Nancy?
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."
"What did you tell them?" asked Nasty Nancy.
The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's driver and I've just k**led the old cow.'
The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
Shipwreck
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
An associate of Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream the other night
There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went past. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.
Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair OK?"
Her friend said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed.
Nancy Pelosi and her driver were cruising along an Iowa country road one evening when an old dairy cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't.
The aged cow was struck and k**led. Nancy told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow.
She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you," asked Nancy?
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."
"What did you tell them?" asked Nasty Nancy.
The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's driver and I've just k**led the old cow.'
The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
Shipwreck
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
Jun 10, 2019 06:33:59 #
Jun 10, 2019 16:25:43 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Look what you started...Pelosi jokes br br i b An associate of Nancy ... (show quote)
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.
Jun 10, 2019 16:32:52 #
Fit2BTied wrote:
Look what you started... br The Pope and Nancy Pel... (show quote)
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She deserves more than a slapping!!!
Jun 10, 2019 16:48:04 #
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Hey, I don't even think the current Pope would slap her!!***********************************
She deserves more than a slapping!!!
She deserves more than a slapping!!!
Jun 10, 2019 18:58:57 #
billman6
Loc: Top of Texas
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Pelosi jokes br br i b An associate of Nancy ... (show quote)
Ok those are damn funny. Really liked the third one.
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