alabuck Loc: Tennessee

My fellow Americans, welcome to the First Annual Trump International Independence Day and Casino on the Mall, brought to you by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and by the official hotel of Independence Day, the Trump International, preferred destination of discerning sheikhs and ruthless dictators everywhere. That was a joke. Or, was it? (Wink at the crowd.)

Today, Americans celebrate what makes our country great, and that thing is your favorite President, me. Under my fine leadership and administration, we have come together as one nation, even the h**ers and losers, the f**e news, Low IQ Joe, Nervous Nancy, Cryin’ Chuck — what a creep! — socialists, murderers, rapists and MS-13 animals. This is the largest crowd ever. I have all the records. I hold all the cards. Trust me.

Martin Luther King Jr. spoke from this very spot, but I am hearing that my speech is already better than his — maybe the greatest ever. That’s what I hear people saying. Believe me.

Abraham Lincoln..., where is Abe? Abe, stand-up so we can see you. Take a bow, Abe, wherever you are, Abe. Abe’s is also honored by my presence here. (Wait for applause to stop.) Abe was a good president, but he was never as popular as me. Sorry about that, Abe. Ninety-four percent approval rating in the Republican Party! All-time record! Love records. Also, the White House physician says I am now 6-foot-5, which makes me taller than Abe and means my BMI is not in the obese category. Sorry, Abe. But, I always thought you were too thin. Do you play golf? Like cheeseburgers? Diet Coke?

Anyway, thank you to those seated up front who contributed to my campaign at the “Emolument Level.” Before me tonight, I see the beautiful melting pot of America: people from England, France, I was just there, by the way, Sweden, Norway, and Denmark. It is almost as great as seeing my royal family on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

The negative people, I mean “not nice,” in the District of Columbia objected to me taking over Independence Day, so I have declared July 4 a “National Emergency,” which allows me to pay for this party with money from the Pentagon. Instead of the traditional fireworks, tonight we will be using tactical nuclear weapons. Why have them if you don’t use them? In case you didn’t notice, I can tell everyone what to do and not do. After all, I AM the president!

As part of my National Emergency, I also declare that:
This place will now be called Trump National Mall Mini-Golf Club; I am speaking to you from the ninth green. This is the biggest Putt-Putt course in the whole world! And, it has MY name on it, too.

I will be throwing out the first pitch at next week’s All-Star Game in Cleveland; I will also be the starting pitcher. All of my throws will be called “strikes;” I can guarantee it because I’m the best baseball player ever; even better than Babe Ruth, Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle, combined. Believe me! I had a full scholarship to play baseball in school. I had pro scouts BEGGING me to play for their teams, too. Didn’t need any deferments to play baseball! My daddy saw to that, too! Believe me!

I will be the halftime performer at next year’s Super Bowl.
I will be declared the winner of the Masters golf tournament.
My picture will be on the new $20 bill, and the American f**g.
I will be replacing Adam Levine on “The Voice.”
I will be on the cover of “Time” magazine as “Man of the Year” for the forth time.
House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy says I have constitutional authority to make all these changes. Believe me!

Two-hundred-forty-three (243) years ago, our forefathers put their John Hancock’s on the Declaration of Independence, which, under my emergency order will, from now on, be displayed at Mar-a-Lago, with my signature added. As soon as possible, I’m have the Constitution, plus all of its 45 amendments, moved to Mar-A-Lago to be displayed so future lawyers can come here to be taught how to use it.

People tell me all the time that the Founding Fathers pledged, to America, their lives, fortunes and sacred honor. So, tonight, I will inherit their fortunes. From the new Trump International Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream Waters and Spa by Ivanka, both, big, beautiful buildings, this land was made for me. And, if you make a sizable donation to my re-e******n campaign, I’ll might let some of you use some of my country, too! Believe me. I always keep my word.
God bless America, and especially, God bless me!

Lifted and modified from an article by Dana Milbank
Washington Post
6-7-19
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Trumpet is trying to turn our country’s non-partisan, national holiday, celebrating our independence from Great Britain, into a shamefully partisan, political rally for himself, “...our favorite president...,” or, so he claims. (Another of his monumental lies.)

In actuality, I have zero confidence that he’ll forgo his usual bragging on himself, all brags being full of lies and distortions. He’s so full of himself that the word ”narcissistic” has 2 new definition, one that includes Trumpet’s picture as an example of “hyper-active-destructive-aggressive-narcissistic personality disorder, or, ‘HADAN-PD’.” The second definition is regarding extreme narcissism as displayed by Trumpet. It’s called: “Seriously Aggressive Trump A******l Narcissism,” or “SATAN,” for its anachronism.

I wonder, too, why the 25th Amendment hasn’t been used to dispose of him. I suppose it’s because he either: 1)has his cabinet so afraid he’ll have them k**led by his Mafia contacts, or, 2)he’s paid them all off from the billions of dollars he says he’s worth. (I presume he’s post-dated their checks until after 2024.)

markc Loc: Tennessee

Nah, he’ll just sue them if they try and cash the check.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

Most likely. Or, he’ll say he never wrote any checks and that they’re all forgeries!

Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall

Nice hyperbole...

Great rant at the end...

I can actually here Trump reading this speech...

Smiling all the while...

'Cause...You know

proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Nice rant...NOT!!!,,,25TH Amend is not there because you h**e President's guts, its for President who is severely ill, or been shot...25th Amend does NOT apply to this President Trump no matter how much you h**e him!!!

Bcon

You don’t really expect these h**eful anti Trumpers to understand the meaning of the amendments. They are too busy being ignoramuses to get wise at this stage of their ignorance.

TrueAmerican

It must be pure hell to live with so much h**e in your heart, I hope for your sake God forgives you when your time comes !!!!!!

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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Rant?! If telling the t***h is a “rant” then, so be it. What do you call your pro-Trump “rants?” I call them your spreading hundreds of Trump’s lies.

As to your comment that the 25th Amendment does not relate to Trump, you’re as crazy as he is for saying as much. If he weren’t crazy then why did former Deputy Attorney General, Rosenstein float the idea of using the 25th to get rid of Trump several months back? Sure, Rosenstein denied saying it but, several others in the Trump administration claim he did; that they heard him.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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Other than replying with 3rd grader style insults (a trait you, undoubtedly, picked-up from Trump), suppose you enlighten us anti-Trumpers as to the invalidity of using the 25th Amendment against Trump.

proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Will NEVER happen,no matter how much you fantasize about it,Alabuck!!!

Bcon

Suppose that you read it instead and understand that iris to enrich used for only proof of illness or instability and not some. Perceived i***tic libtard way to get rid of a duly elected president. I really don’t expect that your juvenile reasoning would understand the meaning, but try. Really try hard.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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I don’t “h**e” Trumpet. I “intensely dislike” Trumpet. To the point that I wouldn’t piss down his throat if his guts were on fire.

As to being forgiven by God, I pray for forgiveness from God, every day, for my sins. Besides, why do you feel it necessary to judge me? Christ said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I pray for Trump, too. I pray that the pestilence, division and unfounded h**e, he brings upon us be released so our country can become one again.

I find it strange that as you are someone who follows a person who preaches h**e, d******eness, misogyny, r****m, is the poster child for hyper-narcissism, and is breaking every law he can as president, to name just a few of his negative characteristics, that you accuse me of “hating” Trump.

If there’s anyone or group who “h**es” others, it’s Trump and his followers. Your problem is that you’re so ingrained into Trump’s level and expanse of hatred that you’ve lost all sense of morality.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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Again, more third grade insults. If that’s all you have, you have nothing. Go tell your mommy she wants you. It’s your nap-time.

alabuck Loc: Tennessee

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From you, I’d NEVER expect it. You don’t have what it takes. Never have. Never will.

Bcon

You have proved to everyone that you are a full blown libtard. You have an overblown opinion of yourself that makes you the only one who believes it. Talk about third grade. Did you even reach it. I know that in the area of common sense you are lacking. That is fifth grade logic. I am advancing. Sorry to leave you behind.