A Day in the Life of a Liberal: I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I...

Sew_What

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

debeda

Sew_What wrote:

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfl... (show quote)

That's EXCELLENT. And here's how to trigger liberals

Hold on, meme to follow ( not so good with attaching

debeda

debeda wrote:

That's EXCELLENT. And here's how to trigger liberals

Hold on, meme to follow ( not so good with attaching

bahmer

Amen and Amen

Noraa Loc: Kansas

Sew_What wrote:

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfl... (show quote)

Excellent!!

Mike Easterday

There are i***ts that probably live like that

Mikeyavelli

Sew_What wrote:

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfl... (show quote)

Love it.
How dare you luxuriate with lentils when Halexandria Obamio-Castrio says that methane will destroy the world in 12 years?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Sew_What wrote:

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfl... (show quote)

Now, that is funny

However, some will take it much too seriously.

Rose42

Sew_What wrote:

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfluid birds, and rise in the lotus position from my organic tofu mattress. As I come to consciousness, I focus on my intention to do no work, content in the knowledge that I have liberated myself from such bourgeois concerns.

My gaze turns softly towards the altar next to my bed, which is graced with the image of Noam Chomsky. I perform sun salutations, whilst reciting the liberal mantra: “Om, ain’t America bad, bad is America, America is bad”

I visit my bathroom, taking care not to slice my head on the various crystals h*****g from the ceiling. I hold my lingam to urinate, remember that it is, in fact, a penis, and start to feel very guilty about my cis-male privilege.

I go to the sink to wash my hands, but remind myself that water is holy and should be conserved. I see my face in the mirror: it is, of course, unwashed, but under the grime my essential whiteness is obvious. I grab my fair trade hemp whip and begin to f**gellate myself: white plus penis equals oppressor. As I feebly attempt to check my privilege, I catch a glimpse of a female neighbor through the window. My lingam twitches in excitement, and reminds me that I am also straight! My shame is unbearable, and I wield the whip with two hands in a vain attempt to shed my anemic blood.

Unbloodied but bowed, I exit my rent controlled apartment and knock on my neighbor's door, intending to apologise abjectly for my existence. As usual, he tells me to fuck off and get a life, but he is a person of color, so I gratefully accept his admonishment. As a straight white man, I have no authentic culture, and I am thankful that he allows me to learn from his rich tradition.

At my g****r studies tutorial, I make the mistake of having an unwoke opinion: I say that a lesbian might have the right to be unattracted to a pre-op male to female t***sexual. I spent the rest of the session crouched in the corner, vainly defending myself from kicks delivered by size 12 Birkenstocks.

Back at home, I shed tears over my lentils. Why can't I please everyone?

-Phillip Husband

I am gently awakened by the song of vegan g****rfl... (show quote)

Though not really true it is hilarious nonetheless!

Is there a corresponding one for conservatives?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Rose42 wrote:

Though not really true it is hilarious nonetheless!

Is there a corresponding one for conservatives?

Though it is not to be taken any more seriously than 'A Day in the life of a liberal,' the following is the closest I could dig up on such short notice.

https://adayinthelifeof-spike.blogspot.com/2010/08/types-of-republican-i***ts-posted-by.html

No one group should ever be stereotyped.

Rose42

slatten49 wrote:

Though it is not to be taken any more seriously than 'A Day in the life of a liberal,' the following is the closest I could dig up on such short notice.

https://adayinthelifeof-spike.blogspot.com/2010/08/types-of-republican-i***ts-posted-by.html

debeda

Rose42 wrote:

Though not really true it is hilarious nonetheless!

Is there a corresponding one for conservatives?

Unfortunately wouldn't be as funny. Get up, shower, get dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner while helping kids with homework. Eat dinner, clean up after dinner, throw in a load of laundry, fix wh**ever's broken, repeat.....