This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
slatten49 wrote:
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local news... (
show quote)
Lamo, Ive been retired for 28 years and i like some of those moves.
slatten49 wrote:
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local news... (
show quote)
Oct 23 shows true genius!
slatten49 wrote:
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local news... (
show quote)
That would have been better if you had put badbobby and the Mrs. in it instead.
bahmer wrote:
That would have been better if you had put badbobby and the Mrs. in it instead.
Moi???
I'm not a bit playful
don't go to target anyhow
don't like their restroom policy
l
badbobby wrote:
Moi???
I'm not a bit playful
don't go to target anyhow
don't like their restroom policy
l
I'm sure that Slats could have changed
that to Walmart to make you happy.
badbobby wrote:
coulda woulda shoulda
don't cut no ice
Tru dat for now just wait.
That was just crazy funny. Thanks for sharing.
slatten49 wrote:
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local news... (
show quote)
I'll be retiring in a year or two, and I cannot wait to add to that list.
Sounds like a few fun filled days !
slatten49 wrote:
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local newspaper column, and could be describing any number of retired men from OPP...including me:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women--she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveilance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: He walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn, resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
Aug. 4: Went to the service desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
Aug. 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Aug. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
Aug. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
Sept. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
Sept. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
Oct. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
Oct. 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
Oct. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Oct.21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
Oct. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" One of the clerks passed out.
This story, a re-post, was taken from a local news... (
show quote)
I would never take you shopping with me but would pay to have a copy of their video
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