You Might Be A Conservative if"
Apr 3, 2014 10:35:42 #
You Might Be A Conservative...
You might be a conservative if...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two."
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of b***hes."
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."
You answer to "The Man."
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of "C****es in my Neighborhood."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstok was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of r****m in America.
You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties."
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying b***h" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the "liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
You think all artists are gay.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
http://meyerweb.com/other/humor/conservative.html
You might be a conservative if...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two."
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of b***hes."
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."
You answer to "The Man."
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of "C****es in my Neighborhood."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstok was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of r****m in America.
You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties."
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying b***h" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the "liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
You think all artists are gay.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
http://meyerweb.com/other/humor/conservative.html
Apr 3, 2014 10:39:15 #
Apr 3, 2014 10:42:40 #
Don Overton wrote:
You Might Be A Conservative... br br You might be... (show quote)
Backwards again...just can't seem to get it right, can you?
Apr 3, 2014 11:55:48 #
Don Overton wrote:
You Might Be A Conservative... br br You might be... (show quote)
Again, Donny-boy.....imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
These are as weak, if not more, than your other "copycat" post.......and no Twinkies!
Truly pathetic.
Apr 3, 2014 12:07:08 #
bobgssc wrote:
Such cute posts. Gotta have something to read in the morning.
Yep, he is a real 'hoot'.
Apr 4, 2014 08:05:58 #
Don Overton wrote:
You Might Be A Conservative... br br You might be... (show quote)
Excellent post!.... :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Apr 4, 2014 11:32:32 #
Can't let you right wing bulls**tters have all the fun. They are all perfect pictures of conservatives you just don't want to admit it.
bdamage wrote:
Again, Donny-boy.....imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
These are as weak, if not more, than your other "copycat" post.......and no Twinkies!
Truly pathetic.
These are as weak, if not more, than your other "copycat" post.......and no Twinkies!
Truly pathetic.
Apr 4, 2014 11:42:16 #
The title really should be "You Might Be A Neocon/Defective...", as real conservatives (and this site has very few real conservatives, but, like America, is badly infested with neocon/Defectives), are NOT like that.
Neocon/Defectives only call themselves conservatives because either they lack the education to distinguish between the two or they're liars.
Neocon/Defectives only call themselves conservatives because either they lack the education to distinguish between the two or they're liars.
Apr 4, 2014 12:49:09 #
Terry Allan Hall wrote:
The title really should be "You Might Be A Neocon/Defective...", as real conservatives (and this site has very few real conservatives, but, like America, is badly infested with neocon/Defectives), are NOT like that.
Neocon/Defectives only call themselves conservatives because either they lack the education to distinguish between the two or they're liars.
Neocon/Defectives only call themselves conservatives because either they lack the education to distinguish between the two or they're liars.
Isn't it time for you to return to your pastime of omphaloskepsis?
Apr 4, 2014 13:26:17 #
Old_Gringo wrote:
Isn't it time for you to return to your pastime of omphaloskepsis?
My, such a big word from such a small person...isn't it time to go suck your thumb, down in your Mom's basement? :lol:
Apr 4, 2014 13:31:40 #
Don Overton wrote:
You Might Be A Conservative... br br You might be... (show quote)
This might be funny if it was realistic. I identify myself as a conservative, but would say NO to more than 90% on the list.
Apr 4, 2014 15:18:57 #
Terry Allan Hall wrote:
My, such a big word from such a small person...isn't it time to go suck your thumb, down in your Mom's basement? :lol:
I am pleased you approve.
Apr 6, 2014 11:46:58 #
Terry Allan Hall wrote:
My, such a big word from such a small person...isn't it time to go suck your thumb, down in your Mom's basement? :lol:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Apr 6, 2014 13:01:17 #
Terry Allan Hall wrote:
My, such a big word from such a small person...isn't it time to go suck your thumb, down in your Mom's basement? :lol:
I don't have to visit my mom's basement, I have my own. Where do you retire to contemplate your navel? The subway, because you haven't a basement? Or do you prefer the park, where you can pick up children for your playtime?
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