PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

1. Little Johnny Learns Math

The teacher asked little Johnny, "What's two and two?". He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?". She said, " Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers.

Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three". He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, "Six, teacher?". She said, "Yes, that's right, but you're still counting on your fingers.

Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what's five and five". He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, "Eleven, teacher?".



2. Little Johnny's Mom Has Issues

Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone.

Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother.

From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back."

Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

3. Little Johnny's Friend Gets His Comeuppance

Little Johnny and Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "My Father is better than your Father!" Billy declared.

"No, he's not!" Johnny responded.

"My brother is better than you brother!" Billy said.

"He is not! He is not!" Yelled Little Johnny.

"My Mother is better than your Mother!" Billy continued.

A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. I've heard my Father say the same thing more than once."



4. Little Johnny Discovers Something About Himself

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole t***h."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother. He says, "I know the whole t***h." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole t***h." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole t***h."

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your daddy a great big hug!"

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Good-uns, Salty.

However, they do seem rather reminiscent of BadBobby's stories of his misspent youth.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

I didn't mention that, but you are correct.

bahmer

It sounds like the innocent stories of Marines in their youth.

It is surprising that they ever turned to do anything worthwhile

in their lackluster lives isn't it. All they ever do is pick on the

Navy just because they failed the Navy exam.

What a shame to have failed the Navy exam.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

It's tough to pinpoint when or where you first went wrong in your assessment of Marines, but I suspect it was once you went on BB's payroll.

bahmer

Mrs. BB has taken me under her wing and thanked me

for helping her big strong Navy man fight off all of those

dastardly Marines that keep attacking him.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

It is doubtful Mrs. BB is even aware of your existence. It is quite probable BB doesn't want her to know he is even acquainted with you. Sheesh...

bahmer

I see now where badbobby gets the fact that Marines

are dastardly for they truly are a dastardly lot if I do say so myself.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

You, just as your mentor, have a tenuous grasp of reality.

Leave the dark-side, and join the forces of good and righteousness.

bahmer

Do you were a mask and have an indian friend named Tonto?

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Just like a Swabbie's friend...ignorant, poor thing.

bahmer

Maybe Slats was referring to a superman outfit then?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

You must be referring to our Dress Blues.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Quite possible, as all non-wearers of same are extremely jealous of those that are eligible to wear them.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

It appears, by aligning with a hapless Squid, that our confused friend Bahmer has lost all sense of shame.