pafret Loc: Northeast

"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"


"Dog Diary, Cat Diary"
- Author Unknown

"Dog Diary:
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little h****r' I am. B*st*rds!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously r****ded."

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proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Great post!!! Im actually dog person..And i have allergy to the cats...

bahmer

You will have to send this to AuntiE ar hopefully she will read it.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Just remember: dogs have masters; cats have staff.

1ProudAmerican

I have both, so I h**e to say that I understand both sides

out of the woods Loc: to hell and gone New York State

Definately a dog person, but we've had a few cats too.This seems such a true summary of their character . Sadly our last cat, we believe was k**led by an owl, even small dogs go missing up here. So I doubt we'll get another. Big, winter hardy, happy dogs are the ticket.

bggamers Loc: georgia

I'm a dog person but have had cats they are independent and stuck up their diary is right on but I loved my cats till some one poisoned them

teabag09

I'm a cat person. I can leave for a week, put down enough food and water, a couple of litter boxes and not worry about the house being torn up. I also think like they do. I like hunting, I like to be solitary often, I like being stealthy and I don't care to lick my balls or ass. Mike

bggamers Loc: georgia

teabag we are glad to hear that you DONT have a licking problem