Trump Accepts Larry Flynt’s Ten-Million-Dollar Offer for Information Leading to His Impeachment
Oct 16, 2017 16:46:26 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Satire from The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz
October 15, 2017
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Just minutes after the publisher Larry Flynt offered ten million dollars in exchange for information leading to Donald Trump’s impeachment, Trump contacted Flynt and said that he would gladly provide the information himself in exchange for the cash.
According to Flynt, shortly after their phone conversation Trump sent him a voluminous number of e-mails, phone records, and other evidence of impeachable offenses, after which Flynt wired ten million dollars to Trump’s Swiss bank account.
“That was a lot easier than I thought it would be, to be honest,” Flynt told reporters.
The swift denouement to Trump’s tenure in the White House raised more than a few eyebrows in Washington, with some insiders wondering if Trump’s eagerness to accept the ten-million-dollar payment indicated that his net worth was considerably smaller than he had professed.
Robert Mueller, the independent counsel investigating Trump’s ties to Russia, expressed some sadness that he was not able to bring his probe to a conclusion. “I don’t know what evidence Trump had against himself, but I guarantee you I had more,” he said.
Meanwhile, the success of Flynt’s cash offer appears to have only emboldened the publisher, who announced that he is now offering twenty million dollars for information leading to the impeachment of Mike Pence.
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Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
By Andy Borowitz
October 15, 2017
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Just minutes after the publisher Larry Flynt offered ten million dollars in exchange for information leading to Donald Trump’s impeachment, Trump contacted Flynt and said that he would gladly provide the information himself in exchange for the cash.
According to Flynt, shortly after their phone conversation Trump sent him a voluminous number of e-mails, phone records, and other evidence of impeachable offenses, after which Flynt wired ten million dollars to Trump’s Swiss bank account.
“That was a lot easier than I thought it would be, to be honest,” Flynt told reporters.
The swift denouement to Trump’s tenure in the White House raised more than a few eyebrows in Washington, with some insiders wondering if Trump’s eagerness to accept the ten-million-dollar payment indicated that his net worth was considerably smaller than he had professed.
Robert Mueller, the independent counsel investigating Trump’s ties to Russia, expressed some sadness that he was not able to bring his probe to a conclusion. “I don’t know what evidence Trump had against himself, but I guarantee you I had more,” he said.
Meanwhile, the success of Flynt’s cash offer appears to have only emboldened the publisher, who announced that he is now offering twenty million dollars for information leading to the impeachment of Mike Pence.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Oct 16, 2017 18:15:17 #
slatten49 wrote:
Satire from The Borowitz Report br br By Andy Bor... (show quote)
Andy Borowitz writes some of the best satire around!
Oct 16, 2017 18:16:32 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
PaulPisces wrote:
Andy Borowitz writes some of the best satire aroun... (show quote)
I'm surprised he isn't an occasional guest columnist for The Onion.
Oct 16, 2017 18:27:44 #
slatten49 wrote:
I'm surprised he isn't an occasional guest columnist for The Onion.
Oh he's too witty for The Onion!
Oct 16, 2017 22:18:03 #
slatten49 wrote:
If either of The orange clowns daughters call Flynt they will be ten million to the better.Satire from The Borowitz Report br br By Andy Bor... (show quote)
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