About Getting Older: There's no joke like an old joke, and these are all jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They've seen a lot more than...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are all jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They've seen a lot more than most, and they know that at the end of the day, there's nothing better than family, friends and laughter!
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'

Reporters interviewed a 104-year-old woman. 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. 'No peer pressure.'

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

slatten49 wrote:

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are all jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They've seen a lot more than most, and they know that at the end of the day, there's nothing better than family, friends and laughter!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'

Reporters interviewed a 104-year-old woman. 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. 'No peer pressure.'

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are al... (show quote)

I can remember back when I was old. There are advantages to growing old, like......uh.................hold on..........s**t! I knew them a minute ago.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

lpnmajor wrote:

I can remember back when I was old. There are advantages to growing old, like......uh.................hold on..........s**t! I knew them a minute ago.

It'll come back to you....eventually, maybe.

Manning345 Loc: Richmond, Virginia

slatten49 wrote:

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are all jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They've seen a lot more than most, and they know that at the end of the day, there's nothing better than family, friends and laughter!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'

Reporters interviewed a 104-year-old woman. 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. 'No peer pressure.'

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are al... (show quote)

Thanks for the laughs--I think!

badbobby Loc: texas

Manning345 wrote:

Thanks for the laughs--I think!

Methinks all those slanderous quotes were directed at me
Durn Marine

GmanTerry

lpnmajor wrote:

I can remember back when I was old. There are advantages to growing old, like......uh.................hold on..........s**t! I knew them a minute ago.

Been there. Done that and I got a Tee Shirt.

Semper Fi

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

badbobby wrote:

Methinks all those slanderous quotes were directed at me
Durn Marine

Mahaps, BB.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Manning345 wrote:

Thanks for the laughs--I think!

Getting older demands a greater sense of humor...you're welcome, Manning345.

bggamers Loc: georgia

slatten49 wrote:

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are all jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They've seen a lot more than most, and they know that at the end of the day, there's nothing better than family, friends and laughter!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'

Reporters interviewed a 104-year-old woman. 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. 'No peer pressure.'

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat until the wrinkles fill out.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

There's no joke like an old joke, and these are al... (show quote)

love the one about the leotards and the man naming all his problems God I hope I dont meet him on the road

badbobby Loc: texas

lpnmajor wrote:

I can remember back when I was old. There are advantages to growing old, like......uh.................hold on..........s**t! I knew them a minute ago.

Doc
if you ever recall any of them advantages
please,please
tell me

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

badbobby wrote:

Doc
if you ever recall any of them advantages
please,please
tell me

Give 'Doc' a few days, BB.

badbobby Loc: texas

slatten49 wrote:

Give 'Doc' a few days, BB.

I'm a patient man
I will await his recall

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

badbobby wrote:

I'm a patient man
I will await his recall

Mayhaps he will present you that info as a gift on your birthday.

Manning345 Loc: Richmond, Virginia

slatten49 wrote:

Mayhaps he will present you that info as a gift on your birthday.

Patience?? I had some of that back in the 90s. Used it all up by 00.

badbobby Loc: texas

Manning345 wrote:

Patience?? I had some of that back in the 90s. Used it all up by 00.

Patience?
Oh yeah,
I remember her
kinda skinny gal with big honkers
good sport too

and if I remember correctly I had some of that too
she was pretty generous