Alicia wrote:
*****************
Can we ever know whether a person feels s/he is being ignored? From the outside everything can look perfect. I have a sister who is in her 70s who still resents the fact that I received music lessons and that I always got the best of everything. T***h is that when I saw the music lessons were not beginning, I f**ed crocodile tears and cried for my parents. For another instance, I was first born and had to go through training my parents to be parents. I was my mother's china doll. She may have mentioned her desire once and then expected them to jump on it. I believe I am correct in that she always gave her children identical gifts where I and my husband gave them the gifts each desired.
While growing up I was limited in play because I HAD TO look pretty while my sister had the opportunity to run around in jeans. I think it's more important that the love and attention come from those outside of the family because being too close to a situation blinds one and treated them as individuals. We also gave them gifts of games which they had to play together.
I certainly believe our penal system is wrong in that a one-time felon loses the right to participate in e******ns. Sounds a bit too Puritan to me in that for one mistake one must pay for the rest of his life. Offering training in prisons allows the prisoner to be able to resume a normal life after release. I'm all for the Costa Rican method. It was also mentioned that the instructors donated their time and talents so it cost the government nothing.
I do believe that President Obama nixed the information box that asked if the prospective employee state if s/he was ever arrested. Today one can be arrested for protesting. Correct me if I'm in error.
I do resent your referring to the addict as a "bad apple" as if he were born bad. That's such an easy way to escape an interest.
***************** br Can we ever know whether a pe... (
show quote)
I did not use the expression "bad apple" lightly, the boy exhibited anti-social tendencies and traits from an early age. He was a constant source of concern and always in need of attention. He was the second sibling; he received more attention than the other four combined, simply to keep him in check and attempt to correct his behavior. Whether you resent it or not, there are innumerable cases of individuals who have remained willful, unruly, headstrong sociopaths all of their lives. While one does not wish to characterize their own offspring as being such an individual it must be recognized that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and associates only with other ducks, the odds are quite high it is a duck.
Your description of your family life is disjointed and confusing but as an outsider I would hazard an opinion that it does not "look perfect." Rather it looks as though you exhibited all of the characteristics of a selfish, spoiled brat, overly indulged, by a doting mother to the exclusion of her other children.
As far as love and attention coming from those outside the family, to what end? In charity I am required to feed the poor, cloth the naked and house the homeless. This does not make it incumbent upon me to clutch the serpent to my bosom. All of the programs which treat addiction, with any modicum of success, indicate that the addict must desire to change and that change is brought about by will and spirituality. Environment can help but the motivator must come from within. Addicts are consummate actors, completely able to simulate contrition and repentance; while you believe you have effected cures they are laughing at your folly.
Arguments can be made that the penal system has become big business and the pipeline must be kept full of minor infraction felons but this still does not absolve the individual of his responsibility to obey the laws. Those laws were established, for the good of humanity in general, and to deliberately contravene those laws says you place yourself outside the pale of society. Why then should you have the same rights as law abiding citizens? Particularly since you have already demonstrated a disregard for the rules and conventions which keep us from murdering each other willy-nilly.
To return to the original premise, someone who has grown up "all alone" and resorted to drugs because there was no other distraction is unlikely to ever appreciate those distractions when provided to him. I know the article claims immediate success and this in itself raises f**gs. Anyone with experience with addicts knows there is no immediate success no matter what you do for those afflicted with addictive behavior. I believe that what is lacking is an extreme training in the effects and consequences, of addictions of any kind coupled with a rigorous indoctrination into the immorality, of such behavior. We have abandoned the moral, spiritual side of our young peoples education and deprived them of the necessary spine to reject behavior which leads to addiction and to refuse addiction if accidentally exposed.
"Just Say No to Drugs" is failed Madison Avenue Ad Propaganda and is as easily ignored as all the rest of the tripe pushed at everyone all day long. The obvious response to that imperative is "Why". Without the background education there is no convincing answer to be provided.