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The Right Approach to a Peaceful Marital Bed
Jul 2, 2017 13:05:43   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"


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Jul 2, 2017 13:09:57   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"

Two married friends are out drinking one night, wh... (show quote)

That is sorta reminiscent of our old buddy BB, the Swabbie.

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Jul 2, 2017 13:18:44   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
That is sorta reminiscent of our old buddy BB, the Swabbie.

Sadly, yes it is.

Reply
 
 
Jul 2, 2017 13:22:13   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"

Two married friends are out drinking one night, wh... (show quote)

*****************************
This one brought on more than just a chuckle. Thanks

Reply
Jul 2, 2017 13:38:14   #
kankune Loc: Iowa
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"

Two married friends are out drinking one night, wh... (show quote)


Good one Slat. I enjoyed it. Thx. : )

Reply
Jul 2, 2017 14:08:11   #
Big dog
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"

Two married friends are out drinking one night, wh... (show quote)


I'll try that approach next time.

Reply
Jul 2, 2017 15:35:33   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. Then, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!'

She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"

Two married friends are out drinking one night, wh... (show quote)


Yep, my wife does me like that every time, um I mean...............crap.

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Jul 2, 2017 16:22:40   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
Yep, my wife does me like that every time, um I mean...............crap.


I gather, from your comment, that the honeymoon is over

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Jul 3, 2017 00:10:30   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
slatten49 wrote:
I gather, from your comment, that the honeymoon is over


I suppose many are fortunate that their honeys didn't put them over the moon.

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Jul 3, 2017 07:11:47   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
I suppose many are fortunate that their honeys didn't put them over the moon.

Well, to quote Ralph Kramden, "To the moon, Alice "

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Jul 3, 2017 07:14:23   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
I gather, from your comment, that the honeymoon is over


Yup, pretty much.

Reply
 
 
Jul 3, 2017 07:19:40   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
Yup, pretty much.

Many commiserate with you, Doc.

Not I, of course, as The Sgt. Major still lusts for me.

Reply
Jul 3, 2017 07:31:04   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Many commiserate with you, Doc.

Not I, of course, as The Sgt. Major still lusts for me.


Wow, I want wh**ever pills you're taking...or are giving to her.

Reply
Jul 3, 2017 07:33:19   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
Wow, I want wh**ever pills you're taking...or are giving to her.

Chalk up my delusions to an active imagination.

Reply
Jul 3, 2017 12:24:18   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
slatten49 wrote:
Well, to quote Ralph Kramden, "To the moon, Alice "


Yep, she was 'offered' more trips than all the astronauts combined.

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