lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

I like to use historical quotes to make my point. Here are a few;

My wife complained about my farting and I quoted John Paul Jones; "I have not yet begun to fart".

My wife forbid me to wear speedo's, so I quoted Admiral Farragut; "damn the speedo's, full steam ahead!"

My Granddaughter went through a phase where she thought it funny to stick her butt in my face, so I quoted Teddy Roosevelt; " the butt stops here ".

I was accused of being a nutcase, so I referenced Richard Nixon; " I am not a kook ".

My Grandson was being selfish, so I quoted Winston Churchill; " never have so few, given so much, to such a ninny ".

When shopping for living room furniture, my wife accused me of flirting with the salesgirl, so I quoted Bill Clinton " I did not have sectional relations with that women ".

My wife made plans for us for the weekend, without consulting me, so I quoted Barak Obama; "if you like your plan, you can keep it".